


A Tale of Two Puppies

by CitrusVanille



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, F/M, Getting Together, Growing Up, M/M, Marauders' Era, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2006-09-14
Updated: 2007-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-29 13:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 33,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5128757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CitrusVanille/pseuds/CitrusVanille
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>MWPP era. The boys (and girl) throughout Hogwarts - learning magic, learning themselves, learning each other, maybe even growing up a little.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the Hogwarts’ Express at the start of the Marauders’ first year (they’re not the Marauders yet, of course).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remus's POV.

“Hey! Anyone sitting here?”

At the loud question, the eleven-year-old boy sitting in the corner jerked away from the window he’d been staring out to fix his gaze on the black-haired boy standing in the door of the train compartment. His stomach did a funny somersault.

“What?” the light brunet asked, wincing inwardly at how stupid he must sound.

“I asked if anyone was sitting here,” the black-haired boy seemed to be about the same age as the seated boy, whom he was surveying with a critical grey eye. “Everywhere else is full.”

“Oh. Okay.” The boy flinched again. _Remus, you idiot!_ he growled at himself. “I mean, no one’s sitting here.” _There you go. Nice, normal_ – “Apart from me, I mean. ‘Cuz I’m sitting here, but – ” _and now you’ve blown it again._

“I can see _that_ ,” the dark-haired boy said coldly, cutting him off, and Remus’s heart sank.

_First time talking to someone new, and look what happens!_

But then the grey-eyed boy sat down right next to Remus, and gave him a bright, warm smile, completely at odds with his tone of only moments before. “Black,” he said, holding out his hand. “Sirius Black. Nice to meet you.”

Remus looked at the hand for a dubious moment, then reached out hesitantly to shake it. He felt a shock when they touched, like he’d grabbed a metal knob after walking on a rug in socks, and yanked his hand back. “Lupin,” he mumbled, embarrassed and feeling intensely awkward.

The other boy didn’t seem to notice either the shock or Remus’s discomfiture. “You got a first name, Mr. Lupin?” he asked, manner almost teasing.

“Remus,” said Remus. He was still feeling uncomfortable, and the other boy was looking at him strangely.

“Well, Remus,” Sirius Black grinned, “I like your eyes.”

The eyes in question went wide.

“I’ve never seen amber eyes before,” the other boy went on conversationally, “and I think they’re very pretty.”

Remus’s jaw dropped. _What the –_

“Yes,” Sirius Black continued with an air of finality, “I like your eyes. And I like you.”

Remus, unease completely forgotten, knew he was gaping, but there didn’t seem to be anything he could do about it. He’d never met anyone like this boy before, and he wasn’t sure he was happy to have done so now. The boy seemed like an absolute lunatic.

“So, Remus, where are you from?”

Remus picked up his jaw. The boy might be a lunatic, but, really, who was Remus, to talk about the insanity caused by the moon? And he _seemed_ harmless enough, almost amusing, actually, but the fact remained that they’d only just met each other, and Sirius Black was already calling him by his given name. “Look, Black, I – ”

“Call me Sirius,” the boy instructed. “If we’re going to be friends, we ought to be able to use first names.”

_Well, if he puts it_ that _way… but still…_ “Black, I – ” Remus tried again.

“Sirius,” Sirius corrected. He slung a casual arm about the smaller boy’s shoulders, not seeming to notice the shiver that went down the tawny-haired boy’s spine at the contact. “Say it with me, now,” he ordered. “Si-ri-us.”

“I think you’ve frightened him,” a new voice drawled from the doorway.

Remus and Sirius both turned to see another boy their age with scruffy black hair and hazel eyes.

“Excuse me?” that cold, almost aristocratic, tone was back in Sirius’s voice, and he had moved slightly in front of Remus as though to block the smaller boy from the newcomer.

The scruffy-haired boy locked eyes with Sirius. “I said he looks frightened,” he repeated, a slight challenge in his voice.

Sirius stood up and moved closer to the boy in the doorway. “Take it back,” he growled.

Remus realized abruptly that something was going on here that he didn’t understand. It was like he wasn’t even there. He wondered if he’d missed something, though he couldn’t imagine what it might be.

“I will not,” the scruffy-haired boy retorted, refusing to budge as Sirius loomed closer.

“Take it back.” Sirius was glaring now.

“Make me,” the hazel-eyed boy sneered.

_BAM!_

Sirius’s fist had connected solidly with the other boy’s face, knocking his glasses askew.

The boy reeled backwards from the force of the hit, then swung back, catching Sirius across the mouth. Within moments, a full-out furious scuffle had broken out in the compartment.

_Shit,_ Remus thought, and hastily tried to pull them apart.

A wild punch from the scruffy-haired boy clipped Remus’s cheek, and the fighting boys both froze instantly.

“Rem, are you all right?” Sirius asked breathlessly, sounding very concerned.

“Oh, my God! I’m so sorry!” the hazel-eyed boy gasped, and he did sound genuinely apologetic.

The fight forgotten, Sirius ushered Remus back to his seat, and sat down close by him once more, fretfully examining the amber-eyed boy’s cheek. The other boy hovered, looking awkward and unsure, but nearly as worried as the grey-eyed youth.

Remus looked back and forth between them.

Sirius’s shirt was torn, and his lip was bleeding sluggishly. The other boy’s scruffy hair was, if possible, even scruffier, and he had the makings of what promised to be a very fine black eye. Both boys looked very anxious, their differences forgotten in the face of Remus’s “injury.”

It was all too much. Remus burst out laughing.

After a stunned moment, the other two joined in, and it was a while before they settled down.

“Black. Sirius Black,” Sirius introduced himself as the other boy finally sank into the seat opposite.

“Are you really?” the hazel-eyed boy asked, as though this meant something.

Sirius nodded, but didn’t explain. “And this is Remus Lupin.” He jerked a thumb at Remus.

Remus didn’t comment on being introduced by the other boy.

“Nice to meet you, Black. Sirius Black,” the scruffy-haired boy grinned. “And you, Mr. Lupin.”

_That’s what Sirius called me,_ Remus thought, raising an eyebrow.

The scruffy-haired boy didn’t seem to notice. “I’m Potter. James Potter.”

Sirius snorted at the imitation, but he and James Potter had identical gleams of mischief shining in their eyes.

Remus wasn’t sure whether to laugh again or to groan. One thing was certain, though: it was going to be an interesting year.

**TBC**


	2. Sorted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MWPP era, First Year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius’s POV.

“Firs’ Years, this way!” the booming voice echoed over the heads of the students pouring out of the train.

Sirius and the two boys he’d met picked their way towards the speaker – an enormous man who was clearly part giant – and then followed the shaggy fellow down a steep path. Then the path opened up, and there was a collective gasp. Even Sirius was stunned.

“Tha’ there’s Hogwarts,” the big man clarified. ( _As if there could be any confusion,_ Sirius thought tartly.) “No more’n four to a boat.”

Sirius wasn’t quite sure what that meant until he tore his eyes away from the castle to see a dozen boats in the lake at his feet.

His brain went, _Oh. Duh._ And he clambered into one of the dinghies after Remus and James.

“May I join you?” a feminine voice behind him asked.

“Sure,” Sirius turned, automatically offering his hand to help.

_She’s pretty,_ he thought. He could tell she was a redhead, but, in the dark, he couldn’t tell what color her eyes were.

He helped her to one of the bench seats, noticing the thunderstruck look on James’s face as he did so. The boy’s jaw must have dropped a foot.

“Black. Sirius Black,” Sirius told her, tipping his hat slightly.

The girl laughed. “You are so double-oh-seven,” she told him.

_What?_

“Well, Mr. Bond, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Black,” Sirius corrected, confused.

“I know _your_ name’s Black,” she hastened to assure him. “I was just – oh, never mind.”

Sirius looked at her for a moment, then shrugged it off. _Probably a girl thing._

“Lily Evans,” the redhead stuck out her hand to shake.

Instead of shaking it, Sirius pressed a light kiss to her fingertips, eliciting a giggle. “ _Enchanté_ , Miss Evans.”

There was a choking sound behind them, and Sirius turned to see James with bugged out eyes and Remus looking amused.

“That’s Remus Lupin,” Sirius explained, “and the git behind you is James Potter.”

Lily Evans smiled at Remus, who returned it easily, then frowned at James, who was still gawking. However, the boats hit land, and before she could say anything, everyone was scrambling out of the boats and crunching over the rocky shore.

A few moments later they were mounting the wide stone steps of the castle.

Sirius turned to locate Remus and James as the half-giant knocked on the huge doors.

James was few feet away, still staring avidly at the red-haired Evans girl from the boat. Remus stood next to James, looking terrified.

Sirius felt a tug from the area around his heart, and sidled over to the tawny-haired boy as light spilled out of the opening doors.

“Hey, Rem, you all right?” Sirius asked in a low voice, ignoring the stern-looking woman who was standing in the doorway.

The smaller boy gave him a weak smile as they moved inside with the others.

Sirius wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted the other boy to lose that frightened look, but he had no idea how to go about doing it. He’d never had anyone he cared about before, and he’d only just met the other boy.

“…You’ll want to smarten yourselves up,” the tall, stern, witch was saying, and Sirius felt her eyes resting on his bloody lip before moving to James’s black eye and mussed hair. Then she was gone.

Nervous chatter broke out at once, and, looking around, Sirius realized his new friend wasn’t the only one who was worried.

“How do you think they do it?” James asked in a low voice.

“Do what?” Sirius was puzzled.

“‘Do what’?” James quirked his eyebrow, and winced at the movement. “Weren’t you paying attention?”

“No.”

“Oh.” James looked slightly taken aback by that single honest syllable, and took a moment to recover. “The Sorting,” he said at last.

“Is _that_ what everyone’s so worked up about?” Sirius asked, surprised.

Both Remus and James nodded.

Sirius couldn’t help himself, he burst out laughing.

Heads turned all over the room to look at him. A few mouths opened, but before anyone could say anything, the witch from earlier (“Professor McGonagall," James hissed helpfully) returned.

“Follow me,” she said, and led them across the entrance hall and through another large set of doors into what was quite obviously the Great Hall.

The rest of the school was already assembled and chattering happily, but as the new students appeared, silence fell from the bewitched ceiling past the floating candles to the marble floors.

“You don’t need to worry,” Sirius managed to whisper to Remus and James before complete stillness reigned. He knew all about the Sorting, his parents had told him everything, though he suspected now that they hadn’t been supposed to. They had told him all about Hogwarts, had even insisted he read _Hogwarts: A History_ before attending. Whatever else his parents were, they were thorough.

And now Professor McGonagall was setting the Sorting Hat on a stool, and everyone was watching it expectantly, waiting for it to sing. It didn’t disappoint.

" _Once upon a time_  
_Before you e’re were born_  
 _This school began, oh_  
 _How the time has flown._  
 _I was just a young hat_  
 _Given the task to comb_  
 _Through witches young, and wizards too,_  
 _For a House to call home._

_Into Ravenclaw…_ "

Sirius somehow lost the rest of the song, steeling himself for what he knew was to come. This was his only chance. Somehow, he had to convince the Hat to allow him this opportunity.

The hall burst into applause as the Hat finished and bowed to each of the long tables, Sirius joining in a moment later.

_Not bad,_ Sirius thought of what he had heard of the song, and snuck a glance at Remus and James, considering. James was bound for Gryffindor, no doubt about that. Sirius knew enough of the Houses to be sure. Remus was a puzzle, though Sirius felt strangely certain that the slighter boy would end up a lion as well – he _knew_ neither boy would enter Slytherin. He masked a grimace, and hoped his plan worked. If it didn’t, he would leave the school, he’d go live in the forest on the grounds. He’d heard enough about it to know no one would find him there – more likely than not because he’d be dead, eaten by a werewolf, or something. But even werewolves had to be better than home and those horrors he’d been brought up to call family. At least werewolves were only monsters one night a month.

“Black, Sirius.”

Sirius looked up, startled, and realized he’d missed the first few Sortings.

_Here goes nothing,_ he thought, making his way towards the Hat.

He heard a few whispers of, “Black? Why bother? He’s Slytherin for sure,” before the Hat fell down over his ears and eyes.

“Another one, eh?” said the Hat’s voice in his ear. “But you’re not like the others. A _Black_ sheep, eh?”

_Just give me a chance,_ Sirius pleaded.

“A chance?”

_Please. Let me prove myself._

“Hmm.”

_Please._

“You really want it? Werewolves aren’t all bad, you know. Guess you’re the _white_ sheep, then, eh? Well, you do seem pretty determined, so I guess it better be GRYFFINDOR!”

Sirius heaved a sigh of relief. “Thanks,” he whispered as the Hat was removed, and the cheering crowd could be heard.

He went and sat down at the Gryffindor table, grinning at the congratulations and welcomes, and ignoring the few strange looks.

A few minutes later, Lily Evans came and sat a few seats away from him at the Gryffindor table, followed, shortly, by “Girma, Wintana.” The two seemed to hit it off, and were instantly chatting.

“Leroy, Jenna,” was called, and as she was Sorted into Ravenclaw, Sirius looked to see Remus looking especially pale.

Then, “Lestrange, Rabastan,” was summoned to the stool, and Sirius’s head snapped towards the front. He’d completely forgotten Rab was here this year.

“SLYTHERIN!” the Hat shouted predictably.

Then it was Remus’s turn. The boy looked downright green. He sat on the stool for what seemed an age, while Sirius fought the urge to bite his nails.

“GRYFFINDOR!” the Hat declared at last, and Sirius gave a second sigh of relief as Remus trotted over to the table. Sirius slid over a bit to make more room on the bench, and gave the newest Gryffindor an impulsive one-armed hug around the shoulders.

Remus shivered slightly.

“Cold?” Sirius whispered in his ear.

The amber-eyed boy shivered again, but shook his head.

Sirius tightened his hold briefly, then abruptly removed his arm, feeling a little awkward, and wondering at the strange protectiveness he felt for the smaller boy. He’d felt funny since he’d first seen the other boy on the train platform; the unassuming boy had just stood out for some reason, almost as if there had been a spotlight on him, so Sirius had searched him out on the train. He’d expected to find out who the tawny-haired boy was, and be done with it. He hadn’t expected to like the other boy. Sirius Black liked no one, well, nearly. In any case, he wasn’t at Hogwarts to make friends, he was there to become a better wizard than any other Black, so when he graduated, they wouldn’t be able to keep him at Grimmauld Place any more. But there was something about Remus that Sirius couldn’t put his finger on, it was like nothing he’d ever experienced before, and, all of a sudden, having friends didn’t seem like such a bad thing.

And then, of course, James Potter had turned up, and Sirius had known he’d met his match. Granted, he’d felt threatened at first, and had instantly sized the other dark-haired boy up as a rival, but it had quickly become clear that they’d be better allies than enemies. They settled easily into an almost rough camaraderie, happily taking the piss out of each other at every opportunity, while understanding that it was all in fun, and wasn’t really meant cruelly. Remus still didn’t seem quite so comfortable with it.

Marist, Marks, Nivers, Norris, O’Connelly, O’Conner, Pettigrew, then Potter.

“Fancy seeing you blokes again,” James smirked, sitting across from Sirius and Remus.

“You won’t be rid of us that easily, mate,” Sirius returned, giving the boy a smirk of his own.

He heard someone snort, as though trying – and failing – to keep from laughing. He turned to Remus, but the boy shook his head, and shot a swift glance at the redheaded Evans two seats down from him, who was focused very intently on the Sorting.

Sirius looked up in time to see “Snape, Severus,” a greasy, unwashed looking kid, Sorted into Slytherin.

Then Thompson, Turner, Winter, and finally Zawaski, and the Sorting was over.

At the middle of the long staff table at the front of the Hall, a man Sirius recognized instantly as Albus Dumbledore rose to his feet.

The chatter slowly died away.

“Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts. You are all hungry, I see, so I won’t keep you from your suppers any longer.”

And he didn’t. He sat down, and the tables filled instantly with food.

Sirius ate hungrily, feeling strangely comfortable in the bright, noisy hall, wedged between Remus and an older girl who’d given him a funny look and only introduced herself as “Kelly.” (Sirius wasn’t sure if that was her given or family name.)

“Hey, little coz,” a long-haired brunette fifth year came up behind Sirius as he finished his dinner, and gave him an enthusiastic hug.

Sirius twisted around in her arms to return the embrace. “Romy!”

“I’m so proud of you, Gryffindor,” she released him, beaming.

“Thanks, Romy,” Sirius grinned back. “Ouch!” He turned and glared across the table at James, who had kicked him in the shin: hard.

“Oops, sorry.” James didn’t look the least bit repentant.

“James Potter, right?” Romy smirked at the surprise on the hazel-eyed boy’s face. “You were just Sorted,” she pointed out. “Besides, I know your father, you look just like him.”

“Oh.”

“I’m Andromeda Black,” she stuck out her hand.

“Black?” Remus had joined the conversation.

“Siri here’s my baby cousin,” Romy explained. “And fiancé,” she added, almost as an afterthought.

“Fiancé?”

Sirius thought Remus’s brilliant amber eyes had gone an unnatural shade of yellow, but nobody else seemed to notice.

“ _Tentative_ fiancé, Rem,” Sirius felt the need to explain. “It’s a family-arranged thing. Nothing to do with us, really.”

“I see.” Remus’s eyes were once again definitely amber, and Sirius wondered if, maybe, he hadn’t imagined it. “I’m Remus Lupin, by the way,” Remus stuck out a hand, “Siri’s friend.”

Sirius blinked. Remus was being awfully forward, well, more so than he’d been all day, and had he just called Sirius ‘ _Siri_ ’? No one but Romy ever called him that, not even Uncle Alphard.

“Nice to meet you,” Romy shook the proffered hand, but her jovial tone had a slight edge it hadn’t possessed earlier.

Sirius glanced at James, and was comforted to see that he looked as bewildered as Sirius felt.

Remus released the fifth year girl’s hand, but held her gaze.

Romy nodded, once, as though some silent communication had passed between the two, then turned back to James and Sirius with a grin. “I’ll be seeing you boys around,” she winked. And with a swish of her robes, she’d moved off between the tables.

Remus watched her go, eyes wary, then turned his focus to the desserts appearing on the table.

Sirius felt uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure what to say, either, which didn’t usually happen to him, and that made him even _more_ uncomfortable.

_What was that about?_

“Er, Remus?” Sirius tried.

“Yes?” Remus didn’t bother to look up from his ice cream.

_No point beating about the bush._ “What was that about?”

Remus did look up then. “What was what about?”

“With Romy,” Sirius tried to explain. “It was like, I dunno… like you didn’t like her, or something.” _Smooth talking, Sirius._

“Don’t be daft. I only just met her.” But Remus’s eyes were fixed once more on his plate.

“I’m not ‘being daft,’” Sirius insisted. “Maybe you just met her, but something was off. If you were a dog, your hackles would have been up!”

“I’m not a dog!” Remus snarled, eyes back on Sirius, expression half angry, half… _frightened?_

_What?_

“I said ‘if,’” Sirius suddenly felt more ill at ease than ever. Remus looked really upset. “Look, I’m sorry, Rem.”

The boy seemed to deflate suddenly, and an awkward silence fell.

James looked between them anxiously for a minute. “Um,” he said finally, “could one of you pass the whipped cream?”

The tension drained all in an instant, and both boys reached for the requested bowl. Their fingers brushed, and Sirius felt something like a shock from a malfunctioning wand – only, for some weird reason, it didn’t feel _bad_. He pulled back abruptly, feeling his face heat up even as Remus’s turned red.

“Sorry,” they both muttered at the same time, then grinned that they’d spoken together, then laughed.

Sirius gave an inner sigh of relief.

Remus handed James the cream, and dinner went on, easy conversation returning.

But that night, curled up in one of the four-poster beds of Gryffindor Tower, Sirius couldn’t seem to clear his head. He stretched out, and peaked through his curtains at the waxing moon drifting slowly past the window.

What had made Remus so jumpy earlier, first at Romy, then at what Sirius had said? Sirius could chalk up the reaction to his words simply enough, maybe Remus just didn’t like dogs. But Remus’s behavior with Romy was a different story. He’d been so easy-going on the train, and it couldn’t be that he was uncomfortable with girls, because he’d been fine with the redhead James had been drooling over, and what had happened with Romy hadn’t seemed like nerves. It had been almost as though Remus was jealous. But that was stupid, it just didn’t make sense. And yet… Remus had definitely seemed, well, possessive. But if that was it, why? Did he not have many friends at home? Did he feel threatened? Should Sirius say something to assure Remus that there was nothing to worry about? He felt the need to set things right, though he wasn’t really sure what was wrong.

And _that_ led to the more important problem that was running around in Sirius’s head. Why did he, Sirius Black – who made it practically a point of pride to never give a damn about anyone – care so damn much about a boy he barely knew?

**TBC**


	3. And Rat Makes Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James’s POV.

James was drowning, but for some reason, he wasn’t bothered by it. The beautiful green of the waves closing over his head reminded him strongly of something he couldn’t place, but that made him feel almost calm. He was warm, and comfortable, and it felt more like floating than drowning.

Then a particularly cold wave hit, and James let out a cry and sat bolt upright in bed. He felt almost a sense of loss to realize he’d been dreaming. But if he’d really been dreaming, why was he soaking wet?

The sound of laughter nearby caused him to rip open the bed curtains to glare at the two boys collapsed on the floor in gales of laughter. Sirius had his wand out.

“ _You_!” James snarled, and launched himself off the bed to tackle the chortling grey-eyed villain.

“Hey, there!” James heard Remus call out. “Help me with them!”

A moment later he felt hands pulling him and Sirius apart. He struggled briefly, until he noted that Sirius, who had gone almost limp in Remus’s restraining arms, was looking not only tousled, but decidedly damp as well. Feeling mollified enough to begin calmly plotting his revenge, James stopped fighting his unknown captor.

“Are you two going to behave?” Remus demanded, in a tone that added, _‘Or am I going to have to_ make _you?’_ all by itself.

James summoned his most innocent _I’m sorry_ face and nodded when Sirius – an identical look on his visage – did.

Remus’s eyes narrowed, as though he knew exactly what was going on behind those repentant looks, but he released his armful, and the grip on James relaxed a moment later.

“Thank you,” Remus addressed the person behind James.

The hazel-eyed boy turned to the presumed inhabitant of the fourth bed in the dorm. The boy was small, though a little pudgy, with mousy hair and small, watery eyes. James couldn’t help but think that, with that pointy nose, the boy looked a bit like an overfed rat.

“I guess we didn’t meet you properly last night,” Remus was saying. “You were already in bed, and we didn’t want to bother you.”

“It’s okay.” The small boy fidgeted. “Erm… I’m Peter Pettigrew…”

“I’m hungry,” Sirius sounded bored.

“‘Hungry’ is better known as ‘Sirius Black,’” James commented pointedly, then gave said boy an I’m-going-to-get-you-for-waking-me-up-like-that look.

“And sopping-wet there is usually called ‘James Potter,’” Sirius remarked casually, returning James’s look with one clearly stating, ‘I’d like to see you try.’

“And I’m Remus Lupin,” Remus finished, sending both black-haired boys a don’t-make-me-tell-you-to-behave-again glare.

“Nice to meet you,” Pettigrew squeaked, then grabbed some clothes from the floor where he’d obviously dropped them earlier, and vanished into the bathroom.

_Odd bugger,_ James thought, before returning to his immediate problem. “You’re a bloody prat,” he informed Sirius. “If I’d _wanted_ a bucket of ice cold water dumped on me first thing in the morning, I’d have right well _asked_ for it!”

Remus was making an odd choking noise, hands tightly clamped over his mouth.

“And _you_ ,” James turned on the amber-eyed boy. “You could’ve stopped him!”

“Why would he do a thing like that?” Sirius wanted to know, grey eyes dancing. “It was his idea.”

“ _What_?” James spluttered.

“You’re getting the carpet wet,” Remus pointed out, before retreating behind his hands once more.  
  
James’s voice didn’t seem to work.

_Memo to self: find suitable way to get revenge on Sirius_ and _Remus._

“Well, I suppose it wasn’t _all_ Rem’s idea,” Sirius acknowledged, voice perfectly calm, as though he were merely commenting on the weather. “Rem said even a bucket of water wouldn’t wake you up, you were so fast asleep.” There was a decidedly villainous gleam in the boy’s eyes, despite the tone of his voice, which hadn’t changed. “I said I thought it would, and I could prove it. So I did. Though, of course, we didn’t use a bucket. It was a spell. And now that you’re up, I wouldn’t want you to catch cold.” Sirius casually waved the wand he still held, muttering something that sounded to James like, “ _Nihil aquae_.”

Instantly, James’s clothes, bed, and the patch of carpet he’d been dripping on where dry as parchment.

James gaped for a moment. “Where’d you learn to do that?” he demanded when he could speak.

“Home,” Sirius replied with a shrug.

“But we’re not supposed to do magic ‘til we get to school! You’re pureblood, you should know that!” James protested. “Why hasn’t the Ministry – ”

“The Ministry won’t do a thing,” Sirius sounded contemptuous, and far older than his eleven years. “They can’t tell who the spell caster is, you know, only the location. And since I _am_ pureblood, they have no way of knowing if it was Mother, or Father, or not. Besides, since it’s me, they’d look the other way anyhow.”

“Why?” Remus had stopped trying to smother his laughter and was looking interested.

“Cuz of my family,” said Sirius dully.

“The Blacks are a very prominent and influential family,” James clarified, seeing Remus’s uncomprehending look.

“Meaning we have a lot of gold and know how to use it to get what we want,” Sirius sounded thoroughly bitter.

James exchanged an uncomfortable glance with Remus, who looked miserably guilty for having brought it up.

There was a very awkward silence, broken by Pettigrew stumbling back into the dorm, fully changed into day clothes. He dumped his things unceremoniously into his trunk before heading for the door.

“Um, I’m going for breakfast,” the pudgy boy said hesitantly, turning back to the room, hand on the doorknob.

“We’ll be down once we’re dressed,” James told him when he realized neither Remus nor Sirius was going to say anything. “You don’t need to wait.”

“Oh… um, okay.” Pettigrew disappeared through the door and could be heard clumping down the stairs as the heavy wood swung shut behind him.

“Siri…” Remus paused, waiting until the gray-eyed boy turned to him. “I’m sorry I asked. I didn’t mean to – ”

“Don’t, Rem,” Sirius said quietly. “It doesn’t matter.”

“But it does!”

James stared, surprised by the vehemence in the smaller boy’s voice.

Sirius looked shocked too.

“It’s your family, and I shouldn’t’ve pried. It’s none of my business!”

“Calm down, Rem,” Sirius sounded a trifle alarmed. “You didn’t know my family’s a load of prats.” His stomach growled, and he grinned in an almost relieved fashion. He draped a friendly arm across the brunet’s shoulders, not seeming to notice the slight tensing in the smaller boy’s body as he did so. “Why don’t we all just get dressed and head down for some breakfast like Jamie-boy and Pete suggested?”

He didn’t wait for an answer, but steered Remus towards the bathroom.

“‘Pete’?” James heard Remus ask. “You really shouldn’t be so familiar right away, you know.”

“We’re going to be rooming with him for the next seven years,” Sirius’s voice replied with a bark-like laugh. “I think I can call him by his given name.”

“But you didn’t know _we_ ’d be rooming together when – ”

The sound of running water cut off the conversation, and James decided to just get dressed instead of going for his own shower. He preferred to shower at night, anyway, and he’d had a bit of a bath that morning anyway…

* * * * *

It hit him hard, like walking into a wall, and just as sudden. The only time James had felt anything so strongly was when he had first seen the redheaded angel, Evans (or _Lily_ as he called her in his head). Only this was nothing like the nervous-stomach-flop, just-swallowed-the-most-delicious-mouthful-of-the-best-hot-chocolate-ever, I-think-I’ve-died-and-gone-to-heaven-to-see-such-an-angel sensation he’d gotten the night before. No, this feeling was much closer to actually running into a wall, and realizing you hated the wall with every fiber of your being. Or, rather, having a wall run into you.

“Watch where you’re going!” Sirius snapped at the boy who had run into James.

James couldn’t even find the words to express his displeasure, he just glared at the hook-nosed, sallow-skinned creature before him with all his might, wishing he had light-colored eyes so he could really cast a good Evil Eye.

“He was in the way,” the greasy-haired boy retorted, glaring right back at James.

“Don’t take that tone with me, you slimy Slytherin git,” Sirius snarled. “ _You_ walked into _him_! Apologize.”

“Why should I listen to the disgrace of the Black family?” the Slytherin demanded, giving Sirius a contemptuous glance before returning his glare full force to James.

“ _Disgrace_?!” outrage for his new-found friend shook James from his silent loathing.

“His entire family’s in Slytherin, but he couldn’t even do that!”

“Who’d want to be a snake?” James spat, hand inching towards his wand.

“James, calm down,” Remus muttered, grabbing James by the wrist.

“Listen to your little friend, _James_ ,” the lank-haired boy taunted.

“Don’t you dare use my given name, snake,” James gritted. “It’s ‘Potter,’ if you _must_ address me.”

“Get out of here, Snape,” Remus warned. “The Great Hall is full of teachers. We don’t need trouble our first day.”

The black-eyed Slytherin, Snape, sneered, but turned on his heel and stalked across the entrance hall ahead of them and into the Great Hall.

Remus released James once the offensive Slytherin was out of reach.

“How’d you know that prat’s name?” Sirius wanted to know as they found seats at the Gryffindor table.

“Severus Snape,” Remus replied, calmly filling a plate with eggs and bacon, “was Sorted last night. His name was announced, just like the rest of us.”

“Oh.” Sirius blinked, and began to load his own plate with food.

James followed suit, hungry despite the strange new feeling writhing like angry snakes in his stomach. Even the sight of Lily talking with a group of girls a few seats down couldn’t lift the new feeling of unadulterated loathing.

“Should we ask Peter to join us?” Remus asked suddenly.

“What?” James looked up from his plate, which he’d been staring at, stewing in his disgust.

“He’s eating alone,” Remus gestured with his fork towards the end of the table where, sure enough, the fourth inhabitant of their dorm room was eating by himself.

“Er…” James looked at Sirius, who shrugged and rose to his feet.

James and Remus followed, James realizing that Remus had called the boy ‘Peter,’ which must have meant that Sirius had won whatever argument they’d had earlier.

“Cheers, Pete,” Sirius clapped a hand on the small boy’s shoulder.

The boy gasped in surprise, juice flying from his mouth, and started coughing.

“Sorry ‘bout that, mate,” Sirius grinned, and waited for the small boy’s breathing to return to normal. “Anyway, we – ” his gesture took in Remus and James as well as himself, “ – were wondering if you’d care to partake of some fine food with us – ”

“We noticed you breaking your fast all by your onesies,” James interjected. “And we thought you might wish to join us – ”

“Not that we’d dream of putting a crimp on your plans for flying solo,” Sirius went on, “if that’s what you’ve a mind to do – ”

“– but we thought we’d offer, in case it wasn’t your heart’s desire to eat by your lonesome,” James finished.

Peter stared.

James heard Remus give a cough that might have been a laugh pretending.

“We were just wondering if you wanted to sit with us,” Remus explained.

“Oh,” Peter’s expression cleared some. “All right.”

“Spiffing!” Sirius exclaimed, slapping the pudgy boy so hard on the back he nearly tumbled into the porridge in front of him.

“Absolutely corking!” James agreed, giving the unfortunate boy another hearty pat on the back, and struggling to contain his laughter as the smaller boy fought to stay upright.

Remus gave another suspicious-sounding cough as he led the way back to their seats. James rather thought the pale brunet was fighting a grin.

* * * * *

“Mr. Lupin, would you stay for a moment?” Professor McGonagall called out Wednesday afternoon as the bell signaling the end of the Gryffindors’ first-ever Transfiguration lesson rang. “I’d like a word.”

“I’ll catch you up,” Remus told his dorm mates. “Don’t wait.”

“Are you – ” Sirius began.

“I’m sure, Siri,” Remus smiled. “Go on. Don’t be late to Charms on account of me.”

Sirius looked ready to protest again, so James grabbed his arm and hauled him out of the classroom.

“McGonagall’s not going to eat him, you know,” James pointed out, wondering at the boy’s strange reluctance to let their friend out of his sight.

“Remus didn’t mind,” Peter (who’d been tagging along with them all week) pointed out. “So you shouldn’t either, Siri.” He grinned.

Sirius’s grey eyes darkened as a frown appeared on his face. “Who told you that you could call me ‘Siri’?” his voice had gone dangerously low.

“I just thought…” Peter trailed off, looking uncomfortable.

“Be careful, you might hurt yourself.”

“That’s not very nice, Sirius,” James remarked, but he couldn’t bring himself to be particularly bothered, Lily had just passed with a group of her friends, and he was too busy watching her walk down the hall.

Sirius rolled his eyes at James, black mood passing. “Just don’t call me that,” he told the pudgy boy.

“Al – all right,” Peter still looked nervous.

They walked into their Charms classroom and sat down in the back.

“I’m sorry,” Peter said in a small voice once they were settled.

But it didn’t look to James as if Sirius had even heard. The grey-eyed youth was busy waving frantically at an out-of-breath Remus, who had just appeared in the doorway, looking as though he’d run to make the bell.

“Did I miss anything?” he asked, sitting between James and Sirius.

“Course not, idiot, the bell hasn’t even rung,” Sirius snorted, but it was said kindly and he was looking quite cheerful again.

_Guess that means_ I _should tell him,_ James thought as the bell itself chimed. He glanced at his friends. Sirius seemed to have forgotten the incident, but Peter was looking thoroughly dejected. _I think I’ll wait until it’s just me and Rem, though. Save some awkwardness._

**TBC**


	4. What's In A Name?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remus’s POV.

“Remus!” Peter squeaked the moment the brunet climbed through the portrait hole. “You’re back!”

“Is it good to see you, mate,” James grinned as Remus sat beside him on the couch. “I thought the light had left the world when you went away.” He clapped a dramatic hand to his forehead, then peered out at Remus from underneath it. “We pined.”

Remus grinned, fighting a laugh. It was good to have friends. He’d just have to be careful, so he could keep them.

“How’s your mum?” Peter asked.

“Better, I think,” Remus managed to get out. He hated lying. “But it comes and goes.”

“It’s not contagious, is it?” James asked, giving him a look.

“No!” said Remus quickly, then, “Why?”

“You’re looking a bit peaky,” James replied. “Thought you might be coming down with something.”

“Oh,” Remus breathed an inner sigh of relief. “Must just be tired. I didn’t get much sleep.”

James nodded, seeming to accept this. “Must be hungry, too. You missed dinner. Pete, could you go down to the kitchen and beg something for your starving mates?”

“Erm…” Peter hesitated. He had been the most excited of the four to discover the hidden entrance to the kitchens (courtesy of Andromeda Black) in their first week, and the most eager to frequent the house elves’ domain, but he was also the most likely to get lost if left on his own.

“I have faith in you, Pete,” James smiled encouragingly.

Peter nodded in a resolute fashion, rose, and headed out through the portrait hole.

_Well, well,_ thought Remus. _Look who’s turning on the charm to worm his way out of work. Methinks Sirius is rubbing off on James a bit much. Speaking of the Devil..._ “Where’s Siri?”

James flinched. “Upstairs studying, actually. You should go let him know you’re back. He’s been kinda down since you left.”

Remus mock-gasped, though he really was a little startled: Sirius didn’t study. “Studying? Our Siri? It must be serious, no pun intended. I’ll see him immediately. We might have to owl St. Mungo’s.”

“Actually,” James put out a hand to stop Remus getting up. “I need to talk to you. Before you go see him. I didn’t want to bring it up around Peter, but, um, there’s something you should hear. Then, by all means, go see him. Help him study. Astronomy test Wednesday, and it just won’t sink into his thick head. Surprising, really, what with his name, and all, but – ”

“James.” Remus gave the dark-haired boy a stern look.

“Right.” James ran a hand through his already mussed hair. “Well, it’s like this...”

* * * * *

Tuesday’s sunrise found Remus in the owlery, sending a letter to his mother to let her know he was back in his dormitory.

He was usually an early riser, but it had been a long time since he’d been up before the sun. He just hadn’t been able to sleep. There were too many thoughts buzzing around in his head, all of them clamoring for attention.

Chief on his mind was his curse. He’d been far too excited to be allowed to attend school to give much thought to what would happen when he actually arrived. He hadn’t thought about having friends, hadn’t counted on having to account for his absences to people who would care, since all the teachers already knew. He felt terrible lying to his friends, but he was even more terrified of them finding out. He’d only known the three boys a few weeks, but he already felt closer to them than anyone he’d ever known. He’d never really had any friends before, and he was happier than he’d ever been when he was with them, especially Sirius and James. But Sirius and James were not fools, far from it, and they were bound to figure it out sooner or later. And then what? Would he lose them? Would they abandon him? Would they shun him? He didn’t know if he could bear it.

The sun was well up by the time Remus left the owlery, heading straight for breakfast, still thinking.

He hadn’t had a chance to talk to Sirius the night before. He wasn’t even sure he should. What would he say, anyhow? Should he apologize? Ask for an explanation? He hadn’t even been there. He shouldn’t butt it. He’d just have to be careful to call his friend ‘Sirius’ instead of ‘Siri’. If Sirius wanted to explain, he would, and that was all there was to it.

And with _that_ decided, Remus proceeded towards the Great Hall, turning his mind to the worries of catching up in his lessons.

* * * * *

“Really, Professor, I’m sure one of my friends can help me catch up.”

Potions had just ended, and Remus had been called to the teacher’s desk to discuss make-up work. He’d assumed James and Sirius could help him get up to date since, despite their lack of studying, they both seemed to understand everything perfectly, with the glaring exception of Sirius and Astronomy. However, Professor Slughorn was proving difficult.

“I’m sure they could as well, Mr. Lupin. Mr. Black and Mr. Potter are having no difficulty with this course. However, I feel their notes might be somewhat lacking, and, given your dubious skills in the subject, if you’ll pardon my saying so – ” here Remus felt himself turn red in embarrassment – “I feel you would be more likely to flourish under the tutelage of someone who has displayed an obvious flair for the art of potion-making.”

“Er… Professor?” Remus often felt Slughorn just liked to hear himself talk.

“Dear Miss Lily Evans has agreed to help you. I spoke with her earlier. She’s already run along to your next lesson, of course, but she said you could meet tonight. She’ll find you at dinner.”

“Oh.” There wasn’t really anything left to say. “All right.”

“Run along then, Mr. Lupin. Off you go to your next lesson.”

“Yes, Professor.” Remus gathered his things and headed for History of Magic.

* * * * *

“Lupin?”

Remus turned at the sound of his name. “Oh, hi, Evans,” he greeted the redheaded girl behind him.

“You done with your dinner?”

“Yeah, I’m done.” Remus stood.

“Where are you going?” Sirius demanded.

“With Evans.”

“Where?”

“To study for Potions.”

“ _Why_?”

“I told you, Sirius, to study for Potions. If you recall, I told you earlier as well. I said Slughorn had spoken to Evans about it.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Yes I did. When I got to History of Magic and you asked me what Slughorn had said. Back me up, James.”

Silence.

“James?”

Remus turned away from Sirius to see why James wasn’t answering, and found the scruffy-haired boy staring at Evans, a loaded fork forgotten halfway to his mouth. Evans was ignoring him.

“You said ‘someone’, Rem, not ‘Evans’. You never said _she_ was going to be working with you.”

“So? What does it matter _who_ it is?”

“She’s a _girl_ , Rem.”

“I’d noticed.”

“You can’t be alone with a _girl_.”

“Why not?”

“Because she’s a _girl_!” Sirius said, as though he couldn’t quite understand why Remus wasn’t getting it.

“Sirius, stop behaving as though you were five,” Remus snapped.

“It’s not like I’ve got cooties, Black,” Evans chipped in acidly at this point.

“Hmph,” Sirius snorted. “You just keep your girly hands off my Rem.”

“Sirius!” Remus gritted. _Honestly! You’d think he was jealous!_ “I don’t know what your deal is, but I’m going. _With Evans._ Go do something useful, like studying for Astronomy.”

“But – ”

“ _Stop_ , Sirius.”

“Fine,” Sirius grumbled after a brief staring contest, and turned back to his dinner, pouting a little.

“Good boy,” Remus grinned, and couldn’t help reaching out to pat Sirius on the head a like a dog.

Sirius swatted half-heartedly at the hand.

Remus’s grin grew, and before he could stop himself, he’d ruffled the silky dark hair.

“Hey!” Sirius’s shout of indignation followed Remus and Evans (both laughing) as they left the Great Hall.

* * * * *

Much later that evening Remus entered the library on James’s instructions. The hazel-eyed boy had said Sirius was in the Abyss of Words (as the two black-haired boys had dubbed Remus’s sanctuary). He had looked like he was desperate to ask about Evans, but, as the girl had returned to the Common Room with Remus, questions – or interrogations, more like – would have to wait.

Sirius wasn’t hard to find. He’d chosen to sit at the table closest to the door, in the seat nearest his escape. He was scowling at a text book, several charts and pages of notes spread around him. Remus was reminded rather strongly of himself.

“You’re studying awfully hard, Sirius,” Remus commented, amused. “What’s the big occasion?”

“We have that Astronomy test tomorrow night, and you know perfectly well I’m utter rubbish at _this_.” Sirius’s wave took in the charts and notes as well as the book. His eyes were still scanning the page.

Remus pulled out the seat on the other side of the table, making himself comfortable.

“Are you still upset about dinner?” Sirius asked, not looking up. “With Evans?”

“Of course not, Sirius,” Remus chuckled. “Evans and I had a bit of a laugh over it, actually.”

Sirius stuck a finger in his book and looked up. “Then why are you calling me ‘Sirius’ all of a sudden? You never call me that unless you’re brassed off about something. What’ve I done?”

“Nothing... I think.” Remus looked at him suspiciously for a moment.

“Then...”

“James told me you had a go at Pete for calling you ‘Siri’,” Remus explained, wondering if it was a good idea to go into it. “You should have told me it bothered you, I never would have called you that. I just heard your, um... Andromeda using it, so I thought it was okay. I’m really sorry.”

“It doesn’t bother me!”

Remus raised an eyebrow.

“I mean,” Sirius was turning an interesting shade of red. “It bothered me when Pete said it, and it does sometimes irk me when Romy uses it, but I don’t mind if it’s you. I kinda liked it, I mean, well, just...” he buried his nose in his book again, and Remus could just barely make out the muttered, “just call me ‘Siri’ if you want.”

Remus couldn’t help but grin. “All right... Siri.”

**TBC**


	5. Lilium Inter Spinas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lily’s POV.

“How many teaspoons of the powdered unicorn horn was I supposed to use?” the tawny-haired boy asked for what had to be the fifth time that night.

“Just two,” Lily replied, trying to be patient. It wasn’t _his_ fault he was so abysmal at potion-making, after all, and he really was quite smart. His help in Defense Against the Dark Arts had kept her from tanking quite a few exams over the course of the year, and he was great to talk to, as good as any of her girlfriends.

“Right. Sorry. Thanks, Evans.” He gave her a quick grin, then returned to measuring ingredients.

“You know,” she said watching him carefully, “we’re in the same House and the same year – four drops, not three – and we’ve been studying together since early October. That’s nearly eight months now. Why don’t you call me ‘Lily’?”

“Really?”

“Really.” She smiled, though he didn’t see it with his eyes fixed on the beaker in his hand.

“You can call me ‘Remus’.”

“Really?” she mimicked, hoping for another grin.

He obliged. “Really.”

She returned it. “I’d like that.”

* * * * *

“ _There_ you are, Rem!” Black exclaimed the moment Remus and Lily appeared though the portrait hole, bounding up to them like an eager dog. “Come play chess! Jamie-boy’s flattening me, I need your help.”

Remus didn’t budge. “How much?” he demanded.

Black’s eyes widened innocently as he asked, “How much what?”

Lily wasn’t fooled.

Neither, apparently, was Remus. “How much are you betting on the game?”

“Why, Remus, I don’t have the foggiest as to what you mean.”

Remus’s eyes narrowed.

Lily watched with interest, unnoticed by the two boys. She’d never seen anyone treat Black like this, not even the professors. Not even Potter. All the teachers doted on the Black boy, though they didn’t hesitate to put him in detention for any of his numerous misdeeds. Potter was just as bad, worse, maybe; it made her uncomfortable the way he’d stare at her – at least Black didn’t do that. But Remus was behaving as though he could do what no teacher could, crack the innocent mask and make Black confess his sins.

Sirius held Remus’s stare for nearly a full minute before his cheeks turned an intriguing shade of red and he muttered, “Two Galleons.”

Lily was in shock. Quiet, affable, almost shy Remus Lupin had gotten brash, confident, popular Sirius Black to ‘fess up? Not only confess, but blush! This was good enough for lights-out gossip.

“You know I don’t like gambling, Sirius,” Remus was saying, a frown of disapproval on his face.

“Aw, come on, Rem,” Black pleaded, a look on his face that would have put a real puppy to shame.

“No.”

“Just one game.”

“ _No_.”

“You know you love chess.”

“Sirius.”

“ _I_ know you love chess.”

“ _Sirius_.”

_Dream on, Black,_ Lily thought, oddly satisfied. _Remus is stubborn. ‘No’ means ‘no’ with him. Figured you’d know that after all this time._

“For me?”

“Siri…”

“I knew you would!” Black’s expression was delighted, and a little smug, as he grabbed the smaller boy by the hand and dragged him off towards the table Potter and Pettigrew had set up across the room.

“I’ll see you, Lily!” Remus called over his shoulder, an apologetic smile on his face.

Lily lifted a hand in acknowledgement and returned the smile with an understanding one of her own, but felt thoroughly startled. First Black had cracked, then Remus had given in. What was going on?

She looked around the Common Room for Winnie, needing to talk with her best friend.

She spotted the girl doing homework with their other friends just as Potter’s voice floated towards her from the other side of the room.

“Did you just call her ‘ _Lily_ ’?”

Lily smirked at his indignant tone as she went to sit with her friends.

* * * * *

“Really?” Winnie exclaimed excitedly, bouncing a little on Lily’s bed.

“How is that possible?” Alice wanted to know, giving a little bounce of her own and causing the bed to creak in protest at the motion from the two girls.

“I have _no_ idea,” Lily gushed. “But is was _so_ not like them! I mean, even _McGonagall_ can’t make _Sirius Black_ admit he did something if he doesn’t want to, and Remus just had to _look_ at him, and he owned up to _gambling_! And not mere Knuts, either, but _two Galleons_! And Remus may be a regular sweetheart, but the Queen herself couldn’t make him do something he doesn’t want to, and all Black had to do was _ask_!”

“And you said it was like they both knew the other would cave in,” Winnie reminded her.

“They both knew it,” Lily confirmed. “And they both knew they both knew.”

“And they knew they knew they knew,” Winnie quipped.

“Say _that_ three times fast,” Alice giggled.

“What do you think it means?” Lily asked, voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.

“Maybe they’re in _looooove_!” Alice said, before bursting into fits of giggles again.

“You think?” Winnie asked, wide-eyed. “I mean, we’re all still so young – ”

“I was just joshing!” Alice exclaimed. “I mean, they’re both _boys_!”

Lily and Winnie exchanged a look, and Lily knew that Winnie was thinking the same thing she was. _So what if they’re both boys?_

“We should probably sleep,” Lily said abruptly. “It’s late, and we have a lot to do tomorrow, what with exams in a few days.”

The other girls nodded, and returned to their own beds.

Lily couldn’t help but wonder if, jesting or not, Alice had actually been right. But Winnie had had a point, they were so young…

_Well,_ thought Lily as drowsiness started to take hold, _exams start soon, I don’t have time to worry about it now. If they_ are _in love, they’ll figure it out soon enough. After all, it’s not like they can keep it bottled up or fool themselves for years. If they_ are _in love, it’ll come out soon enough…_

**TBC**


	6. Just A Furry Little Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MWPP era, Second Year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remus’s POV.

“Remus! Remus!”  
  
Remus turned at the feminine shriek that sounded, strangely enough, like his name, and spotted the redheaded Lily Evans waving wildly at him, pushing through the students crowded on the King’s Cross platform.  
  
“Hey, Lily!” he grinned.  
  
She threw her arms around him in a hug. “I am _so_ glad to be going back to school. Home’s so dull. My family just doesn’t understand.” She waved a hand at two adults and an older girl who were standing near the wall, watching.  
  
“Wow, Lils, is that your sister?” Remus asked. He’d heard a good bit of griping over the past year about one Petunia Evans. “Did she just bite a lemon?”  
  
Lily laughed, but there was a slightly bitter edge to it that Remus was unaccustomed to hearing. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But no, she’s been like that all summer – would barely speak to me.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Remus said, and meant it. He knew what it was like to be shunned.  
  
“Don’t be. I mean, sure, we were very close when we were little, but if she can’t accept me for what I am, it’s for the better that it comes out now, right?”  
  
“Lils…” Remus felt his heart break a little for the girl, understanding her far better than she could know.  
  
“Remus! Remus!”  
  
Remus turned again, searching for the source of his name. He saw James leaning out of one of the windows on the train, beckoning for him to come.  
  
“Go on, then,” Lily grinned. “I’ll see you at school.”  
  
“See you,” Remus smiled, and boarded the train.  
  
He lugged his trunk down the corridor until he found the compartment his three friends were in.  
  
“Anyone sitting here?” he asked, opening the door.  
  
Sirius looked up, a grin lighting his face. “What?”  
  
“I asked if anyone was sitting here,” Remus repeated, ignoring the confused expressions on James and Peter’s faces in favor of the delight on Sirius’s. “Everywhere else is full.”  
  
“I’m sitting here,” Sirius responded, grin widening, “but you’re welcome to join me.”  
  
Remus laughed, and sat down, too happy to be back with his friends to think much about the little frisson of excitement he felt as Sirius threw a welcoming arm around his shoulders.  
  
“What were you doing with Evans, Remus?” James asked, a funny little catch in his voice.  
  
“What?” Remus turned away from Sirius to raise an eyebrow at James in question.  
  
“They were _hugging_ ,” Peter snickered. “Looks like Remus has a _girlfriend_!”  
  
“ _WHAT_?” Sirius and James half-shrieked in unison.  
  
“We just said ‘ _hello_ ’!” Remus snapped defensively, and shot a glare at Peter, who was still chortling happily.  
  
“But you – ”  
  
“ – were hugging!”  
  
“Lily’s a girl, in case you hadn’t noticed,” Remus gritted. “She hugs everybody. It’s what girls do.”  
  
“Didn’t hug me,” Sirius pointed out.  
  
“Nor me,” grumbled James.  
  
“Ne meither,” Peter chipped in.  
  
“She doesn’t _know_ any of you,” Remus reminded them.  
  
“So?”  
  
“‘So’? _So_ , Sirius, I don’t see why you’re so worked up about this.” Remus shrugged off Sirius’s arm, which was still draped about his shoulders, and ignored the upset clench of his stomach at the sudden loss of the other boy’s warmth.  
  
Sirius gaped at him for a moment. “But I – ” he started. “I mean you – I mean, how could you hug her? How could you do that to m – to James?”  
  
“What?” Remus’s eyebrow went up again.  
  
“ _Sirius_!” James screamed at the same time.  
  
Sirius had flushed, but Remus got the feeling it wasn’t because James looked ready to kill him. Sirius didn’t turn colors over just anything, and he was used to doing things that made people angry.  
  
“You swore you wouldn’t say anything!” James hissed.  
  
“Come on, Jamie-boy,” Sirius teased, the color of his face slowly returning to normal, further proving that it wasn’t James’s ire that had caused the sudden redness of his face. “It’s sooooo obvious.”  
  
_Oh,_ went Remus’s brain. _Of course he’s talking about that. Poor James._  
  
“But you _swore_ ,” James insisted.  
  
“I didn’t tell Rem _why_ he shouldn’t hug Evans, exactly,” Sirius hedged, voice mock-nervous, though his grey eyes were laughing.  
  
“ _Sirius_!”  
  
“Oh, come off it, James,” Remus laughed. “It’s so obvious you fancy Lily Evans.”  
  
“I – ” James stopped, face turning beet red as he clamped his mouth shut.  
  
Sirius gave a barking laugh and tossed his arm over Remus’s shoulder again in a one-armed hug. “See, Jamie?” he crowed. “I told you!”  
  
“James likes Evans?” Peter asked, confused.  
  
Even James had to laugh at that.  
  


* * * * *

Remus paused outside his dormitory door to catch his breath after climbing the steep spiral staircase. He’d just been released from the hospital wing after the second full moon of the school year, and he still wasn’t feeling in top form.

“Do you think he’s ill?” James’s voice asked from inside the room.

Remus blinked. James’s voice was low, hushed. With his senses heightened by his recent transformation, Remus had no trouble hearing his friend’s words, but their meaning eluded him.

“Must be,” Peter squeaked worriedly.

Remus felt a stab of fear. Was Sirius the one Peter and James were discussing so quietly? Was he perhaps in bed, and they didn’t want to wake him? Was he feverish? What was wrong?

Remus’s hand was on the knob, panic welling inside him when Sirius’s voice sounded, speaking the tawny-haired boy’s own name.

“Re would have told us,” said Sirius’s firm, healthy-sounding voice.

Remus froze, hand still on the doorknob.

“He wouldn’t want us to worry about him, Sirius, you know how Re is,” James returned.

“Don’t call him ‘Re’ like that, James,” Sirius’s voice was tight. “He doesn’t like it.”

“But you – ”

“It’s a trade-off, Potter. I can call him ‘Re’ and he calls me ‘Siri’.”

Remus’s eyebrows rose in confusion. A trade-off? What was Sirius talking about? And Remus didn’t care if James called him ‘Re’.

“But – ”

“Drop it, James,” Peter’s voice hissed.

James grumbled something that didn’t sound like words, then said clearly, “You have to admit, _Sirius_ , that there’s something… off, I suppose, about how often he has to go home to see his mother.”

“I guess,” Sirius’s tone was grudging.

“And _he_ always looks like the one who’s ill when he gets back,” James went on. “We saw his mum on the platform at the end of last year, and again at the beginning of this term, and she looked perfectly healthy to me.”

“You’re right…” Sirius sounded like he agreed completely, but didn’t want to admit it.

“So…?” Peter sounded only slightly less bewildered than usual.

“So James has a point, that Re might be ill,” Sirius explained reluctantly.

“Oh. Right.”

“I feel like we’re missing something important!” Sirius suddenly burst out.

Remus, whose ear was almost pressed against the wood of the door by this point, though it was unnecessary, drew back at the force of the exclamation.

“Something like – ”

“– a pattern?” suggested James, voice much softer than his friend’s.

“A pattern,” Sirius agreed.

_Bloody hell,_ thought Remus. _This is bad. What can I do? I’ve got to stop them before they figure it out!_

Hurriedly he crept down a few steps as quietly as he could, then re-climbed them, making as much noise as possible without seeming deliberate, before flinging the dorm door open, a grin pasted on his face.

“Cheers, lads!” he called out, pretending not to notice the abrupt silence that greeted his entrance.

“Rem!” Sirius recovered first, crossing the room to wrap the smaller boy in a tight hug.

Startled, Remus wasn’t sure how to respond. _He thinks I’m ill,_ Remus’s mind reminded him, even as his arms, of their own accord, rose to return the bone-crushing embrace.

But Sirius released him as abruptly as he’d grabbed him, pulling back and stepping away, face bright red. “Sorry,” he muttered.

Remus’s smile was genuine, now. “It’s all right,” he said, feeling his stomach do a funny flip as he met Siri’s eyes and Sirius flashed him a hesitant, but brilliant, grin of relief.

“It’s good to have you back,” Sirius told him, voice unusually sincere. “We missed you.”

“We were – ” James started to say.

“Pining?” Remus asked with a laugh. James had said the same thing every time Remus returned.

“The whole time you were gone,” the hazel-eyed boy insisted.

Remus ignored his friend’s frivolity, figuring it was best to bite the bullet now than be forced to swallow one later. “So, what have you lot been talking about up here? You’re usually down in the common room this time of the evening.”

“Er…” Peter fidgeted.

“We were just – ” James began.

“– planning a prank,” Sirius finished.

“Oh?” Remus raised an eyebrow. _This should be good._

“Yeah,” James nodded enthusiastically.

“On the Slytherins,” Sirius added.

“We’re working on a new idea,” James continued.

“To cause mayhem – ”

“ – mischief – ”

“ – disorder.”

“So we returned here – ”

“ – to our humble abode – ”

“ – to discuss this idea – ”

“ – away from the prying eyes and ears of our esteemed house-mates.”

“And what, pray, is this phenomenal idea?” inquired Remus, trying not to laugh.

“Can’t tell you that,” Sirius said mysteriously.

“Be more than our lives are worth,” James added, voice hushed.

“I see.” Remus looked back and forth between the two black-haired boys. _Well, gotta give them credit for trying. At least now they aren’t pondering the cause of my monthly absences… or figuring out that they always coincide with the full moon._ “So, basically, you haven’t come up with anything yet,” Remus prompted.

“You could put it that way,” James agreed unabashedly.

“Thought so.” Remus gave a great exaggerated sigh. “Well, I guess I have no choice but to help. What can I do?”

“You’re the best, Re!” Sirius grabbed Remus in another enthusiastic hug, but once again he jumped away, face red, as though he’d been doing something he shouldn’t have.

“You are, Remus,” James concurred, not noticing Sirius’s red face. “Now, let’s plan some trouble!”

Remus laughed, and settled in with the other boys, pushing Sirius’s strange behavior to the back of his mind – something to think about on a rainy day.

* * * * *

“Hey, Rem,” Sirius greeted the tawny-haired boy.

“Siri,” Remus grinned as he turned away from his trunk, which he’d been reorganizing, finding the everyday task soothing after a particularly rough transformation. The late January sun shone weakly through the windows as Remus moved closer to his friend, expecting the traditional glad-you’re-back-how’s-your-mum? hug he’d become accustomed to upon his return to the dorm.

But there was no hug.

“I’m not going to ask how your mother is,” Sirius said, a strange catch in his voice.

Remus stopped moving, feeling his breath stick in his throat. _Something’s wrong._

“Pete and Jamie and I thought you might be ill, you know,” Sirius continued, in a would-be-conversational tone that fell far short of the mark. “We talked about it a lot.”

_Oh, no. Oh, no. I can’t lie to him, not now. Not after all this time, after everything we’ve been through together. But what if he finds out? What if he suspects? What if he_ knows _?_

“But, Re,” Sirius began again after a long pause in which walled grey eyes bored into frightened amber, “you’re not…” he paused again. “You’re not ill, are you.” It wasn’t a question. “Not in the way most people think of as being ill.”

The smaller boy was silent, knowing what was coming now, and unable to stop it. _Should I run?_ he wondered, feeling panic gnaw at him. _Will he hunt me down? I don’t want to hurt him. Would I be able to defend myself against him? Do I want to?_ He took a step backwards, then another, moving away from the menacing figure that had once been his friend.

“Your mother isn’t ill, either.”

Step back.

“You don’t leave school at all when you vanish once a month, I saw you in the hospital wing this morning, and last month, too. You’re regular as clockwork, Rem. Once a month, every month. Right at the full moon. You’re gone for two nights, the night of the full moon and the night after, and you always return looking like death warmed over.”

Step back. Step back.

“Your boggart wasn’t a crystal ball, like you said in class when we practiced before the hols, you’re not that scared of the future. It was a full moon.”

Back. Back.

“Stop moving, Lupin!” the dark-haired boy barked. “I’m telling you we _know_!”

Remus froze, terrified. “We?”

“James, Peter, and I.”

The amber eyes went even wider with fear. _They all know. It’s over. I’m over. I never should have come here. I’ve lost him. I’ve lost them. All of them. This can’t be happening. No. No._ “No. No. No.”

“We know what you’ve been trying so hard to hide.”

“No. No.” He stumbled backwards.

Sirius grabbed him, keeping him still, holding so tight to his upper arms that Remus was sure he’d bruise. “We know you’re a werewolf!”

**TBC**


	7. That Which We Call A Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remus’s POV.

Remus stood immobile in Sirius’s hold for a long moment, staring at the taller boy in undisguised terror. Then, as if brought back to life by some spell, he began to struggle, fighting to get free.

“H – hold still!” Sirius gritted, trying to keep his grip.

“Let me go!”

“No!”

“Let go or I’ll bite you!”

“Re – ”

“Just see if I won’t!”

“Stop it!”

“I will, I will! I’ll bite!” _God, don’t make me do it. I don’t know if I can bite him…_

“Listen to me!” Sirius slammed the smaller boy back against the wall of the dorm, holding him in place.

Remus felt tears slipping down his cheeks. He couldn’t move without hurting Sirius, and he couldn’t hurt Sirius. It was over. “Do it, then,” he choked out.

Sirius’s hard grip didn’t slacken, but Remus could feel his confusion. “Do what?”

“Whatever it is people like you do to people like me.”

“Merlin, Re, what is wrong with you?” Sirius half-shouted.

Remus flinched away, shrinking against the wall. He could taste the salty wetness on his lips. “ _Just do it_!” he screamed.

And then something incredible happened. Sirius laughed. He threw back his head… and laughed.

Remus stared.

“Rem… we don’t care!” Sirius finally exclaimed.

“What?”

“I’ve been trying to tell you – ”

“But – I’m – ”

“We know, Re. I told you. We know. And we don’t care.”

That wasn’t possible. “You’re lying. You’re lying.”

“No! Re – ”

“Stop lying! Don’t lie! I know you don’t owe a monster anything, but if you ever cared for me at all, don’t lie – ”

_Crack!_

Remus gasped at the sudden fiery sting in his cheek.

“Re – I’m sorry!” tears were leaking from Sirius’s eyes, too, now. “I just… you’re not a monster, Re! Don’t say you are.” He pulled the smaller boy into his arms, hugging him tightly.

“I – ”

“It’s not you. The monster isn’t you. You’re not a monster. You’re our Remus.”

“Siri, I – ”

“Shhh. No matter what, you’re still you, and we like you just the way you are. Nothing will change that. Nothing.”

They collapsed to the floor against the wall, worn out emotionally, and full of relief, tears mingling as they merely sat and let each other cry.

* * * * *

“Remus!” James and Peter hurried over to where Remus and Sirius were sitting at the Gryffindor table, eating their dinner.

“We weren’t sure you’d be down here yet,” Peter mumbled through an already-full mouth as he and James sat across the table from their dorm-mates.

“So, erm, Rem, Sirius talked to you about, er, you know,” he glanced around and lowered his voice, “your furry little problem?”

Remus couldn’t help it, he laughed, and discovered it was as much of a relief as crying in Sirius’s arms had been. “Yes,” he told his friends. “We talked.” Under the table he gave Sirius’s leg a quick, grateful, squeeze, and stifled another chuckle as the boy next to him jerked in surprise.

James looked like a huge load had been lifted from him. “So we’re all okay?”

“Yes,” Remus smiled. “We’re okay.”

“Where’d you get to, anyway?” Sirius inquired.

“Went down to the Quidditch pitch,” James replied. “Tossed the Quaffle around a bit. Wanted to give you two time to talk.”

“So it was planned.” It wasn’t really a question, but Remus still wanted it confirmed.

The other three shifted a bit, looking at each other.

It was Sirius who answered. “Yeah, it was planned. We weren’t sure if we should conf – er, talk to you about it. We thought that if we waited, you might tell us. We thought you trusted us.” Sirius sounded hurt.

“I _do_ trust you,” Remus felt compelled to say. “I _do_. It’s just… with this…”

“You should have told us,” Sirius insisted.

“I _couldn’t_ ,” Remus tried to explain. “Don’t you see?” He had to make Sirius understand, had to make that hurt look in those grey eyes go away, he couldn’t stand it. “I’ve spent my entire life trying to keep this secret. I never had any friends, ‘til you. Every time I tried, their parents would pull them away. It was less painful, after a while, to just be alone. But then I came here, and all of a sudden I had _friends_. _Real_ friends. And I was _happy_. But I was terrified you’d abandon me if you learned the truth. I _wanted_ to tell you, please believe that, but I was too scared of the consequences. I couldn’t risk losing you. I couldn’t bear it.”

Sirius stared, comprehension dawning. “Is that why you thought – is that why you told me to – ”

Remus nodded, unsure what to say.

“Oh.” Sirius, too, nodded, processing. “Oh.”

“What?” James was looking back and forth between the boys across from him.

“Nothing,” Sirius told him. “It was nothing.”

_Thank you, Siri._

“Good thing we didn’t all talk to you,” Sirius remarked, easily jumping back to the earlier discussion. “We figured it would seem like we were trying to gang up on you.”

“We decided to throw Sirius to the lions,” James continued, grinning at his grey-eyed friend, who stuck out his tongue.

“You mean the wolves,” Peter corrected, chuckling heartily at his own joke.

Remus felt himself flush.

“Ow!” Peter jerked, obviously having been kicked under the table, though it was unclear as to whether Sirius or James was the culprit.

Sirius muttered something under his breath that sounded like, “Rem’s more lion than you’ll ever be.”

“Remus,” Lily’s voice sounded behind the tawny-haired boy before he could say anything to the dark-haired youth seated next to him.

Remus turned and managed a smile for the redhead without too much trouble: she was easy to smile at. “Hey, Lils.”

“Hi, Evans,” James’s voice sounded odd.

Lily looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “Potter.”

Remus turned back to his messy-haired friend, and felt one of his own eyebrows lift at the sight.

James was sitting up very straight, almost rigidly. His face had become very pale, and it seemed to have developed a greenish tinge.

“You all right, Jamie?” Remus asked, feeling slightly alarmed. The boy had been perfectly fine only a moment ago.

The boy’s head gave a jerky nod. “Course.” His mouth snapped shut, lips sealing tightly, as though he was afraid of what would happen if they opened again.

“Er…” Remus wasn’t sure if he should believe the nod and single word of assurance, or if he should rush his friend to the hospital wing. He rather thought the latter was the best course of action.

“Don’t worry about him, Rem,” Sirius put in, then, a wicked grin on his face. “He’s just got gynophobia.”

_Oh. That makes sense, then,_ thought Remus, relaxing slightly.

“ _Black_!” James hissed, a blush creeping into his pale cheeks.

Peter, however, looked confused. “What?”

“Better to let people think you’re a fool than open your mouth and prove it, Pete,” James muttered, glaring fiercely at Sirius.

“Hunh?”

“My point exactly,” James grumbled, obviously trying to burn a hole through Sirius with only the power of his hazel eyes.

_At least he doesn’t look so sick anymore,_ Remus thought, not sure whether to laugh or tell James to apologize to Peter, though it was doubtful any scolding would be heeded.

“You ready to go, Remus?” Lily asked, saving Remus from having to make a decision. “If we start now, we can probably work on at least two potions tonight.”

“Yeah, okay.” Remus scrambled to his feet.

“Re, wait!” Sirius grabbed Remus’s hand to keep him from leaving.

Remus turned, wondering absently why the warmth from Sirius’s hand seemed to be spreading up from his touch.

“How long will you be?” Sirius asked.

“Not sure.” Remus quirked an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Er… Astronomy.”

“Astronomy?”

“Yeah,” Sirius nodded quickly. He was still holding Remus’s hand. “We have those star charts to do. Will you give me a hand with mine?”

“Those aren’t due until next Wednesday,” Remus pointed out, suspicious. Sirius always seemed to have some reason for Remus to cut his tutoring sessions with Lily short, and Remus couldn’t figure out why, unless it was just coincidence. “Why do you want to do it tonight?”

“Remus?” Lily put a hand on the tawny boy’s shoulder, saving Sirius from having to find an answer.

“I’m coming, Lils,” Remus told the girl, then turned back to his somewhat relieved, somewhat annoyed, looking friend. “Nine o’clock in the common room. Don’t be late,” he instructed, and followed Lily out of the Great Hall, tugging his hand free in the process.

* * * * *

Ten o’clock found Remus and Peter in the common room, putting the finishing touches on their star charts for Astronomy class. They’d been working steadily for a little over an hour. Neither Sirius nor James had appeared. Remus was under the impression that Peter knew where they were and was sulking because he hadn’t been included. Remus himself was furious at Sirius for not showing up after the mess Remus had made of his second potion in his rush not to be late, and at James for going off with Sirius to wherever they had gone.

“Venus is a little more to the west, Pete,” Remus corrected, looking over his friend’s shoulder.

“Right, thanks,” Peter mumbled, making the necessary change.

Remus triple-checked his own chart, and scowled at the brightest star, its glowing ink twinkling merrily up at him from its position in Canis Major.

_Stupid prat,_ Remus grumbled silently. _Making me rush so I could help him, then standing me up._ His thoughts froze for a moment. _Standing me up? What rubbish is_ that _?_

At that moment, the prat in question came bounding through the portrait hole with his partner in crime.

“We did it! We did it!” James cried out excitedly when he spotted Remus and Peter. “We pranked the Slytherins again, that’s once more than last month!”

“We broke our record!” Sirius chimed in, ecstatic.

“You also broke your promise,” Remus snapped, rising to his feet.

“P-promise, Re?” The huge grin on Sirius’s face faltered at the glower the amber-eyed boy presented him with.

“You were supposed to be here an hour ago so I could help you with your star chart.” Remus began gathering his things together.

Sirius winced. “Right. Well, see, I _would_ have been here, but Jamie here got this great idea for pranking the Slytherins…”

“And you forgot all about your chart,” Remus cut him off, rolling his own chart into a tight cylinder.

“I’m sorry, Rem, really I am, but if you’d seen their faces when –”

“I don’t want to hear it, Sirius.”

“But Re –”

“It’s your loss, not mine.”

“Re –”

“Get James to help you, _if_ he knows what’s going on.” _Which I doubt._

“Oh, come off it, Remus!” James bristled defensively. “I’m not as bad as Sirius. Don’t –”

“I’m not speaking to you, Potter. _You_ knew he had to do his chart. _You_ knew I was going to help him tonight. _You_ knew he needed that help. And _you_ let him go running off with you so you could pull some foolish prank that will likely land you in detention. _Again_.”

“But –”

“So _you_ can help him fill out his chart.”

“But –”

“Now _I’m_ going to bed, because _I_ finished my homework. Good night.” Remus stalked towards the staircase, then, remembering he had helped Peter, and deciding Sirius and James should be left to muddle through the assignment on their own, he turned at the foot of the steps. “Coming, Pete?”

“Oh!” squeaked Peter, startled. “Yes. Of course.”

The small pudgy boy hastily rolled up his completed chart and scampered towards Remus, darting an uncomfortable glance back at the two raven-haired boys before climbing the stairs at Remus’s heels.

“You’d better fix this,” Remus’s sharp ears heard James snap at Sirius. “Lily was braiding her hair last week in class. I haven’t the slightest clue what to do with that star chart…”

* * * * *

It was nearly midnight before Remus, tucked comfortably into his bed, heard the unmistakable sound of Sirius tiptoeing towards him.

A sliver of light from the waning moon briefly peeped through Remus’s bed curtains as Sirius pulled the heavy drapes open just far enough to allow him to climb inside to sit on Remus’s bed.

“I know you’re awake, Rem,” Sirius whispered after a long moment of silence.

“What do you want, Sirius?” Remus asked.

Remus had known Sirius would come like this; the dark-haired boy always did when he’d done something that upset Remus enough to call him ‘Sirius.’ He’d give the smaller boy some kind of chocolate and apologize. Remus had learned quickly that he might as well stay awake until Sirius came, because Sirius had no qualms about waking Remus up to accept the chocolate and apology. For some reason, Sirius couldn’t go to sleep with Remus angry at him. It was puzzling.

“I brought you some chocolate,” Sirius said tentatively, and Remus could just make out the proffered peace offering. “And I wanted to tell you again I’m really, really sorry I didn’t show up when I was supposed to.”

Remus sighed. Now it was his turn. “It’s okay, Siri,” he whispered back to the grey-eyed boy on his bed. “I’m not upset anymore.” In truth, he hadn’t been 'upset anymore' for well over an hour – he never could stay angry with Sirius for very long.

Remus took the bar of chocolate, and there was a moment of near silence as he unwrapped it and broke it in half. He handed one half to Sirius – the ritual to show that he had indeed forgiven his wayward friend – and kept one half for himself. As always, it was good chocolate, and Remus savored every bite. He could smell the chocolate Sirius was eating as well as his own, it was a comforting scent.

Remus had barely finished his piece when James’s footsteps sounded outside the curtains of Remus’s bed.

_Why’s Jamie up?_

“Did you two kiss and make up already?” James asked, poking his eternally mussed head inside the bed curtains.

Remus felt his cheeks heat up and, though he wasn’t sure why he was blushing, he was definitely grateful for the dark that hid it.

“We’re good,” Sirius replied.

_Is it me, or does his voice sound funny?_ Remus wondered.

“Wonderful,” James enthused, and Remus could hear the grin in his voice.

“Congratulations on breaking last month’s prank record,” Remus murmured, feeling he ought to say _something_.

“It really was brilliant,” James remarked smugly.

“We need to celebrate!” Sirius declared.

“Wake Pete,” James instructed. “This calls for a kitchen raid!”

“Why must you call it ‘raiding’?” Remus inquired, crawling out from under his blankets. “The elves are only too happy to give us more food than we could ever want.”

“‘Asking for a snack’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it,” James explained.

“‘Raiding’ is much more exciting,” Sirius added.

“Like we’re outlaws –”

“Pirates –”

“Marauders?” suggested Remus sarcastically.

“Yes!” exclaimed Sirius.

“Exactly,” chipped in James.

“Re, you’re a genius.”

“Well, naturally, Siri, but is there a reason you’re bringing this up now?”

“Marauders, Re!” Sirius bounced a little on the bed. “We’re the Marauders!”

“It’s perfect, Rem,” James agreed.

Remus squinted at them in the dark. “Marauders?”

“Marauders,” said James.

“Marauders,” said Sirius.

“We’re brothers, you know,” James went on. “It’s only natural we should have a name, so we’ll always know we’re brothers. No matter what happens.”

“No matter what size the moon is,” put in Sirius, and Remus felt a warm, comforting hand find his own and squeeze it. “We’ll always be together.”

“Up to no good?” teased Remus.

“Of course!” James laughed. “We’re the Marauders!”

“Can’t you lot keep it down?” Peter demanded from his bed.

Remus, Sirius, and James promptly burst out laughing.

**TBC**


	8. Full of Firsts (Part I)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MWPP era, Third Year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius’s POV.

“Anyone sitting here?” Sirius lounged casually against the doorframe of the train compartment, watching the boy already seated inside.

Said boy looked up from the book he was reading, and a smile spread across his face as his amber eyes lit on the dark-haired boy in the doorway. “What?”

“I asked if anyone was sitting here,” Sirius said again, feeling a grin spread across his own face in response to the smile curling the tawny-haired boy’s lips. “Everywhere else is full.”

Remus laughed. The full, throaty sound sent tingles down Sirius’s spine. “Well, I’m sitting here, aren’t I?” he inquired, eyes flashing with mischief.

“Blocking doorways is a fire hazard, Black,” a voice behind Sirius informed him.

Sirius turned, pushing himself off the doorframe in the process. “James!” he cried out ecstatically, pulling the hazel-eyed boy into a strangle-hold and ruffling the already-mussed black hair.

“Ow! Ow!” yelped the noogy victim. “I say! Stop that you – !” he threw Sirius off with a fierce shove, and hastened to the compartment window, where he attempted to see his reflection well enough to assess the damage. “Look what you’ve done to my hair, you blackguard!” he complained.

Sirius, who had gone sprawling across one of the bench seats and sliding into Remus, looked up into the amber-eyed boy’s face, raising an eyebrow.

Remus quirked an eyebrow in reply, and turned to look at the boy still fussing at the window. “What are you doing, James?”

“Trying to fix my hair, what does it look like?” the boy snapped irritably.

“Um, Jamie?” Remus tried again. “Your hair _always_ looks like a bird’s nested in it.”

“ _Here_ you guys are.” Peter stood panting in the doorway.

“Pete, does my hair look like it’s been nested in?” James demanded, voice tinged with panic.

“Er…” Peter looked remarkably like a rabbit cornered by a predator.

“Oh, sweet – ! No!” James screeched, voice cracking.

“Does it really matter all that much?” Sirius inquired, shifting around a bit on the seat until he was lying with his head on Remus’s lap.

“Does it matter?” James echoed, spinning around to stare at Sirius, eyes practically bulging out of their sockets. “ _Does it matter_?” he was practically shrieking.

Sirius smirked. “I don’t know, Jamie-boy, that’s why I asked you.”

James’s mouth opened, throat working frantically, but no sound came out.

“I wouldn’t worry, if I were you, Jamie,” Remus said soothingly. “It just looks like you’ve been flying, and it never bothers you this much when it’s the wind that’s fussed with your hair.”

Sirius suddenly realized the light tugging on his scalp was caused by Remus’s fingers running through the black locks that Sirius had let grow out over the summer. He almost tensed – he hated people touching his hair, and knew Remus did as well – but then he realized he actually _liked_ the sensation, so much so that he’d unconsciously been leaning into his friend’s touch.

James, somewhat mollified by Remus’s words, sank onto the bench-seat opposite.

Peter, after waiting a moment to make sure it was safe to venture further into the compartment, sat next to James.

Feeling suddenly very drowsy, soothed by the motion of the train and the steady glide of soft fingers combing through his hair, Sirius let his eyes close,

The compartment was quiet, the only sounds coming from the train itself, or from students in other compartments.

Sirius sighed in contentment, shifting closer to the gentle hand on his head.

He could hear James and Peter whispering. He felt a slight tug on Curiosity’s tail, but felt too comfortable to bother telling them it was rude to whisper and if they had something important enough to share, they ought to share with the entire class.

The rise and fall of Remus’s chest slowed as his breathing evened out in sleep, but his hand continued its path through Sirius’s hair.

A loud chuckle broke from the other side of the compartment. Sirius sleepily opened his mouth to tell the other boys to shut up, but fell asleep before the words left his mouth, teeth clicking almost inaudibly as they came together once more.

Remus’s fingers continued stroking his friend’s head as the train thundered north towards a new year.

– – – – –

“Did either of you find anything over the summer?” Sirius demanded of James and Peter, flopping down on Remus’s bed.

It was the second week of school, and Remus had left barely ten minutes earlier to meet Lily Evans for a potions lesson. Normally, Sirius would have made a fuss, or come up with some reason for Remus to cut the tutoring session short – he didn’t like Remus spending so much time with that _girl_ , though he’d never questioned why – but it was the first time the three non-lycanthropic boys had been alone together since the start of term, and they needed to talk.

“I looked through Dad’s library, but I didn’t find anything new,” James admitted. “Mum caught me reading in there a couple times within a week early in the hols, and she started to get suspicious. She _knows_ I don’t do my summer work until the end, and I never go in the library otherwise. So after that, I had to sneak in when they were both out. I didn’t find much of anything, and what I did find was all stuff we know. ‘Human turns into an evil wolf at the full moon –’”

“‘– very dangerous, especially to humans. Not to be trusted,’” Sirius finished. “Of course.” He sighed. “Peter? Anything?”

Peter shook his head. “Full moon. Silver. Vicious monster. Lethal to humans. Same old, same old.”

“Agh!” Sirius let out a frustrated noise, slamming a fist against the bedpost. “Ow!” he winced as his knuckles connected with the sturdy wood. He lay back with a heavy _thwump_ , nursing his hand. “I’ve got nothing either,” he muttered unnecessarily after a few moments.

“So what do we do, now?” James asked. “We scoured the library pretty thoroughly last year, and all we found out is that humans are in danger around werewolves, which we knew before. There is no cure. I don’t know why we thought _we_ could come up with something when so many have failed before.” The hazel-eyed boy sounded thoroughly dejected. “Some Marauders, huh? Can’t even cure lycanthropy. Just about all we can do is throw Remus a stick to keep him company.”

_Oh!_ Sirius sat bolt upright. “What did you just say?”

James looked puzzled. “Throw him a stick?”

“ _No_.” Sirius’s eyes were burning with a strange light. “ _Keep him company_!”

“Um…” James looked completely lost.

“That’s it!” Sirius exclaimed. A funny feeling that felt like excitement was bubbling up inside his chest.

“What’s it?” asked Peter, looking even more confused than James.

“Don’t you see?” Sirius could barely contain his glee. _I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before!_

“See what?” James asked. “Sirius, mate, you’re not making any sense.”

“We can keep him company!” Sirius waved his arms around, as though the broad gestures might help to get his point across. _Why can’t they see?_

“Sirius,” James spoke very slowly, as though to a small child. “You’re mad. He’d kill us.”

“No!” Sirius practically growled in frustration. _Understand, damn it!_

“No?” James repeated in disbelief. “Sirius –”

“Not as _people_!” Sirius cut him off. “A werewolf would mutilate us as people!”

“Yes, Sirius, that’s what I –”

“ _Only_ as people!”

“Sirius what –”

“A werewolf is _only dangerous to humans_!”

“Sirius, I don’t underst–”

“As _animals_! We can keep him company as _animals_!”

“That’s impossible,” James said flatly, looking irritated at having been unable to finish a sentence.

“No it’s not,” Sirius’s voice, which had been rising steadily, was lower now, but much more intense.

“How?” James challenged.

“We can become animagi.”

James stared at his friend as though the grey-eyed boy had sprouted an extra head.

“What?” asked Peter.

“Animagi, Pete,” Sirius explained, eyes blazing. “Wizards who can turn into animals at will. McGonagall was talking about them just yesterday in class. Turned into a cat and back again. Remember?”

“Oh yeah!” The proverbial light had dawned on the marble that was Peter’s head. “We can do that?” he looked awed.

“No!” James snapped, glaring suddenly from one friend to the other. “No, we can’t.”

“Why not?” Sirius demanded, feeling as though his best friend had just punched him in the gut.

“Because we’re only thirteen!” James exploded. “It’s far too dangerous. Don’t you know how many things can go wrong? Weren’t you _listening_ to McGonagall? We don’t have the training! And it’s _illegal_!”

Peter’s jaw had dropped.

“Are you scared?” Sirius wanted to know. His tone was calm now, he wasn’t accusing, merely curious. He genuinely wanted to know if James was frightened by the prospect of such an undertaking.

James sized him up for a moment, then nodded. “Yes,” he admitted at last. “Yes, I’m scared.”

Sirius’s eyes flashed. “Good,” he said. “So am I.”

“Good?” James echoed.

“Yes,” Sirius nodded. “Yes, it’s good that you’re scared. It’s good that I’m scared. You know why?”

James shook his head.

“Because Rem is scared,” Sirius told his friend. “All the time. You can see it in his eyes. He’s scared of the pain it causes him when he transforms. He’s scared of hurting someone. He’s scared of losing control. He’s scared of anyone finding out.” An image flashed in Sirius’s mind of Remus desperately struggling against him last year when Sirius had confronted the younger boy about his ‘furry little problem.’ He shuddered. “At least we have a choice,” he said. “We can’t cure him, but we can help him if we choose to. For him, I’ll risk it.”

“Are you serious about this?”

“As my name,” the grey-eyed boy met his friend’s hazel gaze, feeling slightly defiant.

Peter laughed.

Sirius and James broke their eye contact at the same moment, whirling around to send matching glares at the smaller boy.

Peter shrank backwards.

“I wasn’t joking, Pettigrew,” Sirius snapped. He abruptly turned back to James, a little shocked by the severity of his own tone. _Rem would want me to apologize,_ he thought, but the notion only served to remind him of what was at stake, and he was more concerned with how James was going to respond than dealing with their mousy friend. _Please be okay with this,_ Sirius pled with his eyes. _Please._

The silence seemed to stretch into eternity.

_Please. Please._ Sirius fought to keep from fidgeting.

“Well,” James said at last. “If you’re going to do it anyway, I may as well join in the fun.” He grinned, to let Sirius know he meant it, but gripped the other boy’s shoulder firmly to show he understood the gravity of the situation.

_Thank you._ Sirius returned both grin and shoulder-grip gratefully. He wasn’t sure what would have happened had James refused – or worse, tried to stop him. _I would have lost my best friend,_ Sirius suddenly realized. _If he’d tried to stop me, it would have been over between us. James is like another brother, but Rem…_

“You in, Pete?” James asked the silent boy, cutting of Sirius’s increasingly disturbing thoughts.

“Oh! Erm…” Peter hesitated, shifting from foot to foot.

“Of course he is!” Sirius exclaimed, voice coming out louder than he’d intended as he leapt for something to take his mind off of his strangely uncomfortable cogitations.

“Yeah,” said Peter, shifting a bit more. “Of course.”

“I guess that means more research,” James groaned, but it was a good-natured groan. “Too bad we can’t ask Remus to help.”

Sirius laughed, again more loudly than he’d intended. “Yeah,” he said, determined now to forget his awkward ruminations of moments before. “But then it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

– – – – –

“Hey, Black.

Sirius tipped his head backwards to see the girl standing behind him, hands resting on the back of the couch. “Green,” he flashed her a smile, then shifted so he could see her properly without craning his neck.

She grinned in return. “I have a question for you.”

“I have an answer.”

“Would you have any interest in going to Hogsmeade this weekend with Natasha?”

Sirius blinked. _What?_ “What?”

“Er,” Green blushed a bit. “Natasha was hoping you’d go with her to Hogsmeade next weekend. She, um, she thinks you’re cute, but she’s, uh, too shy to ask you out herself.”

“Oh,” Sirius blinked again. _Of all the times for me to stay behind to do_ work _with Rem when Pete and James are raiding the kitchens,_ he thought, then, slightly more frantic as Green continued to look at him, _Where_ is _Rem? How long does it take to get a book from upstairs, anyhow?_

“So?” Green prompted after a long moment of silence.

“Oh!” _Guess she wants an answer_ now _,_ Sirius thought, trying to hide his growing panic, and wishing desperately that his friends were with him, or, better yet, he was with them. “Um…” _What do I do? What do I_ do _? What would Rem do?_ “Sure, why not?”

“Great!” she beamed at him. “I’ll tell Natasha.”

“Great,” Sirius echoed with more confidence than he felt. Growing up in the Black household – and then going to school with the Marauders – had definitely taught him how to project a self-assured image.

“Saturday morning, eleven o’clock, here in the common room,” Green instructed. “You can go to lunch.”

“Great,” Sirius said once more. The smile he wore felt pasted on, but he knew it looked genuine enough to fool anyone but Remus or James.

“See you around,” Green said, turning away.

“Yeah,” Sirius muttered, then faced front again, staring blankly down at the book in his lap. “See you.”

“Hey, Remus,” Sirius heard Green say.

“Lynette,” Remus’s voice returned.

Sirius looked up again as Remus flopped gracefully down on the couch next to him.

“Did Lynette ask you out, then?” the brunet inquired, opening his book and riffling though its pages.

“ _What_?” Sirius choked. He’d barely gotten through the conversation, and Remus was asking him – calm as anything – if _Lynette had asked him out_? “No!”

Remus glanced up, studied Sirius’s shocked face for a moment, then returned to his book. “So she asked you for Natasha, then.”

Sirius felt his jaw drop. _It wasn’t a question,_ he realized. _It was a statement. He already knew!_ How _does he know? Why is he so calm? Doesn’t this bother him at all?_ “How do you –” he began to ask, but Remus cut him off.

“Lily and the girls have been speculating since the start of the year,” Remus said, as though that explained everything.

“Speculating about _what_?” Sirius demanded, feeling hopelessly lost and irked that his friend seemed so unruffled.

“About who would get to you first,” Remus clarified – rather unhelpfully, Sirius thought.

“ _Get to me first_?”

“You have quite the fan following, you know.” Remus seemed to have found the chapter he’d been searching for, and was now skimming down each page.

Sirius felt half-hypnotized by the movement of the long, slender finger tracing across the parchment, and didn’t quite take in what the other boy had said.

“Aha!” the finger triumphantly stabbed the page it was perched on, effectively breaking Sirius’s daze.

The dark-haired boy started. “Huh?”

“Found it,” Remus replied, but offered nothing further. He fetched the scroll he’d been writing his essay on earlier from the table in front of the couch, and retrieved a quill and his ink. “Anyway,” he continued as he began scribbling, “we’ve all been wondering which poor girl would get a date with you first.”

“A date?” Sirius croaked.

“Yes, of course,” Remus replied briskly, quill moving rapidly across the parchment. Then the pen froze and Remus looked up. “You _do_ realize that’s what you’re doing, Sirius, don’t you?”

“But – I –” Sirius sputtered, suddenly feeling very stupid that the concept of a ‘date’ hadn’t sunk in during his discussion (if it could be called that) with Green. He supposed ‘date’ logically followed the phrase ‘going out’ but for some reason, he just hadn’t connected the two. He’d had quite enough to deal with when he was just thinking ‘going out.’ He swallowed, and tossed his head, trying to affect a superior attitude. “Of course I realize.”

Remus said nothing, merely arched an eyebrow.

Sirius squirmed, self-assured facade starting to crumble. He hated it when Remus looked at him like that. It was as if the other boy could see straight through him – something Sirius wouldn’t have been surprised to discover was true.

Remus held Sirius’s gaze as the dark-haired boy fought not to fidget from the pressure.

Finally, Sirius cracked. It had been fruitless to fight it, and he knew it. “All right!” he admitted, unable to handle that all-knowing stare for a single moment more. “So it didn’t occur to me that it was a date. I thought she just wanted to hang out. I don’t understand the fuss about dating. I’m _still_ not sure why she’d want to spend time with just me. I mean,” here he tried to give Remus a cocky grin, “I know I’m wonderful and all, but I don’t really know her. She’s a _girl_. And Green said Natasha was shy.”

All at once, Remus burst out laughing.

Sirius scowled. _So maybe I was a bit slow on the uptake, but that doesn’t mean he should laugh._ “Some friend you are,” he grumbled, feeling a bit hurt.

“No!” Remus gasped between spurts of laughter. “Not you… it’s just…” he gulped in air, trying to control his hilarity. “It’s just… Natasha… shy!” he dissolved completely.

Sirius scowled some more and waited for Remus to stop. Had Remus been anyone else, even James or Peter, Sirius would have hit him with a pillow until he’d shut up, but Remus didn’t often laugh like this and Sirius secretly enjoyed the rare sound.

Finally, Remus quieted. “Sorry,” he murmured, clearing his throat a bit and looking somewhat embarrassed. “It’s just that Natasha Halloran is no more shy than you are. Lily said she’d heard Natasha has already gone out with half the boys in fourth year.”

Sirius felt his eyes widen.

“Most of it is rumor, I’m sure,” Remus hastened to assure his stunned friend.

“Right,” Sirius managed, nodding, then groaned and buried his face in his hands. _I’m not ready for this._ “What have I gotten myself into?”

There was a quiet chuckle from Remus, and soft, comforting hands threaded through Sirius’s hair. “Just let her take the lead,” he said. “You might have fun.”

“Fun, right,” Sirius told his palms.

“Take her to lunch,” Remus suggested. “Make sure you pay for both of you, of course. The gentleman always pays. You can let her choose where to eat. That way, you don’t have to worry about finding a place she’ll like, and she’ll see that you’re willing to listen to her ideas. Don’t talk about pranks or Quidditch – unless she wants to, of course – or other girls. Be polite. Hold doors for her, pull out her chair, that sort of thing. Ask about her family, and actually listen when she talks, don’t just smile and nod.”

“How do you know so much?” Sirius asked, voice slightly husky. He felt much calmer and very relaxed, and didn’t really realize that he’d been leaning into the soothing touch of Remus’s hands on his head.

“I spend a lot of time with Lily, remember?” Remus replied, and Sirius could almost feel the vibrations of the accompanying low chuckle. “Besides, some things are just common courtesy.”

“You should go on the date, not me,” Sirius muttered.

Remus chuckled again.

“Come with me?” Sirius asked, only half joking.

Remus tugged lightly on the black hair. “It’s a _date_ , Sirius,” he said, voice amused. “That means the two of you go together. _Alone_. Besides, full moon tomorrow night, so I won’t be back until Saturday evening. You know they always make me stay in the hospital wing for the better part of two days afterwards.”

“Right,” Sirius nodded, thinking, _Stupid! How could I have forgotten the full moon?_ He looked up. “I can cancel, if you want. Come sit with you. I don’t mind.”

Remus tugged Sirius’s hair again. “Nice try. You’re not standing up your first date to watch me sleep. I don’t know why you bother, anyway. James and Peter never do.”

Sirius felt himself flush. “One of us should be with you,” he muttered, refusing to think about the heat in his face.

Remus gave him a lopsided grin.

_Did I eat something strange?_ Sirius wondered briefly as his stomach did a funny flip.

“I’ll admit, I like having you there when I wake up,” Remus said, still with that crooked grin on his face. “But it’s not necessary. Go with Natasha. Have fun. I’ll see you that night.”

The hands withdrew from Sirius’s hair and Remus turned back to his essay, effectively ending the conversation.

Sirius watched the amber-eyed boy for a moment, missing the warm caress on his head, then gave himself a firm mental shake and retreated behind his book.

**TBC**


	9. Full of Firsts (Part II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius’s POV.

Saturday evening found Sirius sitting on one of the couches in front of the fire in the common room, Natasha chattering and curled up close by his side.

He’d had a surprisingly good time with the blonde girl, though he’d felt awkward at first. He wasn’t particularly used to spending one-on-one time with girls and had been rather nervous that he’d say or do something that would upset her, but, as Remus had warned him, she was not shy, and he’d obviously made a good impression on her. He doubted she’d be sitting so close to him now if he’d offended her during their date.

All things considered, the Big Date (as James had insisted on calling it every time it came up in the days leading up to the weekend – which had been often since both James and Peter had found it incredibly amusing) hadn’t been nearly as frightening as Sirius had feared. He and Natasha had merely gone to lunch (Sirius had paid, as per his instructions) then wandered around Hogsmeade holding hands before walking back to school. It had, all in all, been a rather nice day, though holding hands had been a little uncomfortable: their hands just didn’t seem to match up properly.

As the day had progressed, Sirius had even begun considering the possibility of going out with the girl again – she was fun in her own way, and he had to admit he rather enjoyed the attention. However, he figured he didn’t need to decide right away, and he was content for the moment to listen to her chatter (she really did chatter a lot) and watch as she inched closer. It amused him that she clearly thought she was being subtle.

By the time James and Peter returned from their own jaunt into town (bags with the Zonko’s label overflowing with purchases), Natasha had practically inserted herself in Sirius’s lap.

James sent Sirius an amused look, hazel eyes glinting with laughter and the threat of future teasing.

Sirius favored his single friend with a superior smirk, and made no move to join his friends as they began setting up for a game of chess.

Natasha grinned at Sirius in what she obviously thought was a flirtatious manner. “You have such nice hair,” she purred, sliding her hands through the black locks.

Sirius tensed instantly and forced himself not to cringe at the feel. “Don’t,” he told her, just barely managing not to snap. He caught her hands and held them away from his head.

“What’s wrong?” she pouted.

“Nothing,” he said hurriedly, not wanting to explain, he knew he’d just sound foolish. “Just – just don’t touch my hair.” Sirius released the girl abruptly, realizing suddenly that James was watching him with a strange expression. Sirius raised an eyebrow at his friend, and James quickly looked away, focusing on the chessboard in front of him.

_What’s with him?_ Sirius wondered. He was about to voice his question to his oddly-behaving friend, when the portrait opened and Remus scrambled in. The smaller boy looked even more worn out than he usually did after a transformation.

Remus saw Sirius looking at him and offered him a tired smile, but didn’t approach.

Natasha was chattering again, but Sirius had stopped paying attention.

“Re!” Sirius called as the tawny-haired boy crossed the room towards the staircase up to the boys’ dorms. “Come sit with us!”

Remus turned, and Sirius thought he saw the amber eyes flick briefly towards the blonde girl in Sirius’s lap before the brunet boy shook his head. “I just want to sleep,” he said and vanished up the spiral stairs.

Sirius glanced at James and Peter. The two boys seemed thoroughly absorbed in their game. “Should we go up and see how Rem’s doing?” he asked them loudly.

“He probably just needs some rest,” James replied without looking up.

“Yeah,” Sirius muttered. “Of course.”

“Siri?” Natasha purred in Sirius’s ear.

Sirius clenched his teeth together to keep from doing permanent physical harm to the girl. No one except Remus called him ‘Siri’ anymore – not even Romy. Then again, Romy didn’t call him anything these days, not since she’d reneged on their family-arranged engagement and run off to marry Ted Tonks on her seventeenth birthday.

“Is something wrong?”

“Don’t call me ‘Siri,’” Sirius gritted.

“What? Why not?”

“I don’t like it,” he informed her tersely.

“But I’ve heard Remus call you –”

“Remus is special,” Sirius bit out, cutting her off. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make sure he’s feeling okay.” Without waiting for a reply, he unceremoniously dumped her onto the couch and, ignoring her indignant cry, took off up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

The dorm door was closed, and Sirius opened it quietly in case Remus was already asleep.

He tiptoed inside and softly shut the door behind himself. As soundlessly as he could, he crept across the room towards Remus’s bed and peeked between the drawn curtains.

There was no one there.

Puzzled, Sirius glanced around the room, but it was empty.

Then he heard the sound of running water coming from the bathroom.

Sirius crossed the room and pulled the bathroom door open, his friend’s name on his lips. But as the door swung back to reveal the inside of the room, the sound stuck in his throat.

The shower farthest from the door was on, steam curling around the curtain, but Remus wasn’t in the stall. The small tawny-haired boy was sitting curled up on the tiled floor, half out of his robes, head buried in his arms, shoulders shaking.

“Re!” Sirius gasped, and lurched forward.

Remus’s head shot up, eyes wide and almost frightened in a pale, tear-stained face.

Sirius fell to his knees by the other boy’s side. “Re. Re, what’s the matter? What’s wrong? Are you sick? Are you hurt? Are you not recovered?” he ran one hand through the light brown hair of the smaller boy, fingers gently caressing the younger boy’s scalp – checking the skull for any damage – then he cupped the tear-stained face in both hands, worriedly searching amber orbs with his own half-panicked grey eyes.

Remus stared – silent and still but for the continued slight shudders running through his body – for nearly a full minute. Then, as though at some sort of signal, he collapsed against the taller boy, gasping sobs wracking his slender form.

Sirius couldn’t think what to do. It was always Remus who took care of the Marauders when one of them was emotional about something. Sirius himself had never even been good at looking out for Regulus, which should have been a natural fraternal thing. How did a boy comfort another boy?

Automatically, Sirius’s arms wrapped around the shaking boy, holding him close and rocking gently, soothing murmurs issuing wordlessly from his lips.

Slowly, the sobs and shaking subsided, until only the occasional tremor passed through the exhausted boy.

Sirius continued to hold and rock his friend until even the tremors had stopped and the smaller boy’s breathing began to even out.

“Rem?” Sirius whispered, gently stroking a hand through the tawny locks.

“Mm?” came the half-asleep reply.

“Let’s put you to bed. You need sleep.”

“Mn-nh,” the light-haired head shook against Sirius’s shoulder, arms tightening around the black-haired boy’s neck. “Shower.” The word was partly muffled against Sirius’s robes.

Sirius blinked and looked up. He’d forgotten the shower was running. No wonder it was so hot in the bathroom. “I’ll turn it off,” he said.

“No.” Remus pulled away and tried to stand. He wobbled dangerously.

Sirius was on his feet in an instant, ignoring the pins and needles in his sleeping legs as he supported the smaller boy.

“Need to shower,” Remus insisted, trying to pull away again and nearly falling to the floor in the process.

Sirius frowned. “You need to _sleep_. You can shower tomorrow.” Without even considering what he was doing, he picked the smaller boy up in his arms to carry him out of the bathroom.

“No!” Remus twisted, trying to escape. “Need to shower now!”

Sirius looked down at his struggling armful, frown deepening. “You can barely talk, let alone stand up on your own. How do you plan to take a shower?”

Remus stopped moving. He looked up at the boy holding him and the pitiful look in his amber eyes made Sirius want to start crying as well.

“Need to shower,” Remus repeated in a whisper. “Feel dirty. The wolf… _am_ dirty.” His eyes pleaded with Sirius to understand.

Sirius did understand, and felt awful, but the fact remained – “Re, you can’t stand up on you own, how…” Sirius trailed off. _I could…_

Carefully, Sirius set Remus back on his feet, still supporting him.

“Siri?”

“I’ll help,” Sirius said simply, and began unbuttoning the rest of Remus’s robes.

Remus, seemingly stunned, didn’t move until Sirius had shed his own robe and shirt and begun unbuttoning the shirt Remus had been wearing under his robes. “No!” Remus cried, trying to stop Sirius’s hands, but too late.

The shirt fell open to reveal a thin torso etched with scars.

Sirius froze, eyes tracing the patterns that showed up stark white against pale skin.

“No,” Remus whispered again.

Sirius looked up, startled out of his trance by the broken whisper, and realized the other boy had started shaking again, eyes too bright and threatening to overflow. He felt like the biggest, most stupid troll ever. _Can’t you do anything right?_ A cruel voice that sounded horribly like his father demanded.

Impulsively, Sirius jerked Remus into another hug. The younger boy, still unsteady on his feet and already trusting most of his weight to Sirius, fell against the taller boy, nearly knocking them both to the ground.

A strange tingle ran through Sirius’s body as bare skin met bare skin, but he paid it no mind, too focused on the boy in his arms. “Is that why you never change in front of us?” he asked, then, not waiting for an answer, “You should have told us.”

Silky hair brushed against Sirius’s skin as Remus shook his head. “Ugly,” the brunet whispered, warm breath ghosting across Sirius’s flesh and giving him goose bumps.

“Oh, no, Rem! Not you. Never you. It’s a part of you. It’s nothing to be ashamed of! You could have trusted us. You _should_ have trusted us. You should have trusted _me_.”

“Dirty,” Remus breathed against Sirius’s chest.

Sirius shivered. “Let’s get you clean, then,” he murmured, his voice a little scratchy. He cleared his throat and pulled away slightly, still supporting the other boy with one arm. He helped remove the rest of Remus’s clothes, revealing more scars. He quickly shed his own shoes, socks, and pants, but, feeling a strange momentary awkwardness as Remus – still leaning heavily on his arm – watched him, he left his boxers in place as he ushered his friend under the heated spray.

A sigh escaped Remus’s lips as the hot water hit them, and his amber eyes closed in relief as he tilted his head back.

Sirius shifted uncomfortably, watching the water droplets slide down his friend’s exposed throat and over the scarred chest. He abruptly reached for the soap and lightly poked the other boy’s foot with his toe.

“Let’s get you clean,” he repeated when the amber eyes looked at him.

Remus nodded and took the proffered bar.

Nearly a quarter of an hour later, Sirius tucked the covers around his washed, dried, and pajama-ed friend. He sat on the edge of Remus’s bed, running his fingers through the still-damp tawny hair. “Did you want to talk about it?” he asked quietly, knowing the answer, but still wondering what could have been bad enough to make someone as strong as Remus break down like that.

“No,” Remus murmured quietly. He would never talk about what happened during the full moon. “Thank you, though. For everything.” He found Sirius’s free hand with one of his own and squeezed. Then his eyes closed as he drifted towards sleep.

Sirius stayed where he was, combing his fingers through the light brown hair with one hand, the fingers of his other hand still comfortably entwined with Remus’s. He wondered if it was always more comfortable to hold hands with a friend than a girl, but didn’t dwell on it – it was just a passing reflection, he didn’t really want to think about Natasha just then.

When James and Peter’s footsteps sounded in the stairwell, Sirius reluctantly rose to go to sleep in his own bed.

Remus stirred at the movement and opened his eyes. “Don’t go,” he murmured, tightening his grip on Sirius’s hand.

The door opened and Sirius, still half inside Remus’s curtains, heard his other two dorm-mates head straight for the bathroom.

“I should go to bed,” Sirius said softly.

“Don’t go,” Remus said again, not letting go of the hand clasped in his. “Stay.”

Sirius hesitated a moment.

“Please.” Remus’s amber eyes were pleading. “Please stay.”

Sirius nodded agreement – he’d never seen his friend like this before, and he simply couldn’t say ‘no’ – and sat down again.

“Sleep with me?” Remus asked.

“What?”

“Nightmares…” the tawny-haired boy bit his lip.

Sirius hesitated again, but nodded once more mere seconds later – how could he refuse? – rising to his feet. “Just let me put on a shirt,” he said. He had only put on pajama bottoms earlier, as he didn’t usually sleep in a shirt.

But Remus wouldn’t release his hand. “Stay. Please, Siri. Stay with me.”

This time Sirius didn’t hesitate or nod. He merely crawled into the bed with his friend, wrapping both arms around the smaller boy. He could smell the shampoo in the tawny hair pressed against his nose. “Of course I’ll stay,” he whispered.

The warmth of the slight boy’s body in Sirius’s arms and the scent of his hair had a drugging effect on the dark-haired boy, whose eyelids began to droop.

“Thank you, Siri,” Remus murmured. He snuggled back against Sirius’s chest and, still holding his hand, pulled the covers over them both.

Sirius tightened his arms around his friend. “Of course,” he whispered again into Remus’s hair. “I’ll always stay with you.”

Both boys were fast asleep by the time James and Peter returned.

**TBC**


	10. Sumus Primi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MWPP Era. Third year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lily's POV.

It was the sound of a rousing rendition of “God Rest Ye Merry, Hippogriffs” that woke Lily early Saturday morning.

It took her a moment to realize the noise was coming from downstairs (probably from the common room) and another moment to properly appreciate the fact that if the dormitory door had been closed a mere inch or two more (she would have to kill whomever had left it open) she could have thrown something at it to close it the rest of the way and shut out the rowdy voices. A moment more and she remembered she was a witch and could just use her wand. By the time she had located said wand, however, she had remembered that term had ended the day before, and the singing of holiday songs would likely only get worse as the day went on. And if she knew her house-mates (and she was pretty sure by this time that she did) closing the door wouldn’t help for long.

With a groan, Lily rolled out of bed, still clutching her willow wand, and stumbled towards her trunk.

 _May as well get up and dressed,_ she thought.

She glanced around the empty room. “I forgot everyone went home for the holidays,” she said aloud, feeling a trifle lonely.

“Everyone?” asked a male voice behind her.

With a gasp, Lily whirled, raising her wand defensively.

“Just me,” Remus Lupin was standing a few feet away, hands raised palm out to show that he was unarmed.

Lily relaxed, lowering her wand. “I always forget you can come up here. You startled me.”

“Sorry,” he grinned. “Didn’t mean to.”

“Mm,” she grinned wryly in return. It was something she’d never quite figured out – why Remus could go up the stairs to the girls’ dorms but all the other boys slid back down. Lily wondered if it had to do with the fact that Remus was a werewolf, but she’d never quite worked up the courage to actually ask him, mainly because that would mean she would have to confront him about his lycanthropic condition and she wasn’t quite sure how he would respond. “Why are you here so early, anyway?”

“I’m always up early. You often are as well, so I figured I’d come by since I knew you’d be up here all by your lonesome.”

Lily raised an eyebrow. _He’s becoming more like Potter and Black ever day,_ she thought to herself. Aloud, she said, “Meaning your three darling friends threatened dire things if you didn’t let them sleep?”

Remus chuckled. “Two, actually. Peter left this morning to spend Christmas at home. But yes, I thought it best to let Sirius and James sleep. They’re not particularly pleasant at such early hours.”

“Then I suppose it’s very fortunate for you that I had to stay here over the holidays this year,” Lily remarked.

“This is true,” Remus replied, chuckling again. “So, Oh-Great-Lady-of-my-Good-Fortune, would you care to accompany me down to the Great Hall so that we might break our fasts together, this fine morning?”

Lily laughed again, amused in spite of herself. “I’d be delighted,” she said. “Just let me get dressed.”

He bowed slightly, a very Black-like grin quirking his lips as he captured her hand and pressed a gallant kiss to her knuckles. “I shall await your pleasure downstairs,” he told her, and retreated, closing the door carefully behind himself.

Lily sighed. _He’s such a gentleman,_ she thought.

A smile slowly spread across her face. She bit her lip and gave in to the excited squeal that she could feel building up inside of her. She spun around in a happy sort of pirouette, then dashed to her trunk to find clothes, wishing desperately that the other girls were around to help her choose something to wear.

– – – – –

“How kind of you to join me,” Remus muttered when Lily approached him in the common room. His tone was sour, but his eyes were laughing. “I was afraid you’d gotten lost.”

Lily felt herself flush. _Probably shouldn’t have taken the time to shower,_ she thought. But she hadn’t wanted to _stink_ if she was going to have breakfast with the amber-eyed boy. “I needed to –”

“Shower,” Remus finished for her. “I know.” He chuckled.

Lily stared. _How did he –?_

“I can smell the soap and the shampoo you used,” Remus explained, obviously interpreting her expression correctly. “You’ll have to teach me the spell you use to dry your hair,” he added. “The only one I know makes my hair look like James’s, and Sirius won’t tell me what he uses.”

‘Of course,’ Lily meant to say, but it somehow got lost on the way to her mouth. “My soap’s unscented and my shampoo’s not that strong,” she said instead, then gave an inner wince as Remus turned red. _Of all the times for me to get nervous and start babbling about things I don’t want to talk about… I thought I’d kicked that habit._

“Oh, well, uh,” Remus stuttered. “Good nose and all.”

‘That must be tough in a boys’ dormitory,’ Lily tried to joke, but it came out, “I thought your senses were only heightened during the full moon.” Lily felt her eyes widen at her own words and she clapped her hands to her mouth.

Remus’s jaw dropped and the breath left his lungs in a loud _whoosh!_ as though he’d been punched in the stomach.

This could be summed up quite nicely in one word, Lily decided. “Shit,” she said through her muffling hands. _Of course that comes out right,_ she thought bitterly.

Remus’s mouth moved as though he were trying to form words, but no sound was forthcoming. The shock in his face was rapidly dissolving into fear.

 _Now is not the time to panic,_ Lily told herself sharply. “I never meant to say anything,” Lily whispered, dropping her hands to her lap.

Remus gaped at her. “You…”

“I’ve known for ages,” Lily continued. “Your boggart last year… and you’re always gone over the full moon… and that werewolf essay we wrote…” she trailed off helplessly.

“Everyone knows,” Remus’s voice was strangled, eyes wide in a very pale face.

“No!” Lily gasped. “I never told a soul!” _Does he really think that of me?_ “I would never tell anyone, I swear.”

Remus shook his head, but it didn’t seem to be disbelief. “You figured it out,” he said, voice shaking slightly. “Siri and James and Peter figured it out. There must be others.”

 _Oh,_ went Lily’s brain. _He doesn’t believe I’d betray him. He trusts me that much, at least._ The thought calmed her. “I’m sure no one else has figured out you’re a werewolf,” she assured him, keeping her voice low so none of the other students in the common room would hear.

“But you and –”

“ _I_ am the cleverest witch of our age,” Lily informed him haughtily, hoping to lighten the tension.

Remus’s lips twitched slightly, but he still looked slightly terrified.

“Look,” Lily said seriously, deciding to change tactics, “as much as it pains me to admit it, Black and Potter are far from the idiots they appear to be at first glance. Add that to the fact that they’re your best friends as well as your roommates…” she shrugged.

“But you’re –”

“We’re friends as well,” Lily pointed out. “And once I realized you were gone once a month, always at the same time as I –” Lily broke off. _He doesn’t need to know_ that _!_ she thought, feeling her cheeks heat up.

Remus raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything.

Lily’s blush deepened. “Well, it always coincided with the full moon,” she went on hastily. “And I was thinking about you a lot –” she broke off again, feeling completely mortified. _This conversation just keeps getting worse!_ her mind wailed.Why _can’t I seem to watch my mouth around him?_

“You were that worried?” he asked, sounding touched.

“Yes!” she clutched at the lifeline he had unwittingly thrown her. “Well, the boggart, and the essay, and the timing, which I couldn’t help but notice because of all the time we spend together, and you were always so vague about where you went, and so everything just… added up,” she finished lamely.

He nodded slowly, relaxing slightly. “You’re right,” he said, voice thoughtful. “After Siri came out to me about it, I should have known it was only a matter of time before you figured it out as well.”

“And you don’t spend enough time with anyone else for them to really even be _thinking_ about it.” Lily giggled suddenly, remember something. “Actually, the girls all think you’ve got a vicious pet rabbit, or something,” she told him.

“ _What_?”

“Alice heard Potter talking about your ‘furry little problem,’ and things just took off from there.”

“Oh, Lord,” he laughed, and the last of the tension drained away with the sound.

Lily heaved an inner sigh of relief and prayed she wouldn’t blurt out anything else she should be keeping to herself. “Shall we to breakfast then?” she inquired, rising to her feet.

Remus smiled, following suit. “Let’s shall,” he agreed, courteously offering her his arm.

She took it, fighting the urge to giggle again, and steered him towards the portrait hole.

– – – – –

“I don’t understand Dumbledore’s obsession with destroying Christmas,” Remus commented sourly between bites of toast.

Lily raised an eyebrow at him. “He’s not _destroying_ Christmas,” she corrected. “He’s trying to make it more _fun_.”

“ _Trying_ being the key word,” Remus grumbled to his juice.

Lily laughed. She couldn’t help it, he just looked like the little kids she babysat for in the summer when she told them they had to drink their milk if they ‘wanted to be big and strong.’ “You know you don’t really hate what Dumbledore’s done with Christmas. I saw you laughing over the crackers he provided last year. And you have to admit the decorated trees are beautiful.”

“I have to do no such thing.” Remus took a savage bite of sausage. “One of the fairies _bit_ me yesterday. The crackers do provide some amusement, but not enough to make up for the trouble they cause. The noise they make is deafening and, as I’m sure you’ve realized by now, Siri and James are downright dangerous with anything that makes noise or has even a possibility of exploding. And the mistletoe! It’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of. In Norse mythology, Loki used mistletoe to _kill_ Baldur, the god of peace, did you know that? _And_ it’s a parasite –”

“Thank you, Professor Lupin,” Lily rolled her eyes, fighting another laugh. “I attend the same Herbology lessons you do and, if you recall, it was _I_ who got you interested in Norse mythology. Before that, it was ‘Apollo’ this and ‘Isis’ that. Honestly!”

“Yes, well…”

“I would _also_ like to point out to you that we are lucky the custom is only to _kiss_ under the mistletoe, given its properties as an aphrodisiac.” Lily stopped, feeling her cheeks heat up. _Oh, God, why did I have to say that?_ her mind wailed. _I have to_ just stop talking _! Just stop!_

Remus didn’t seem to notice the blush, or Lily’s inner panic. “I suppose.”

Lily quickly downed the last of her tea, still feeling intensely awkward. _Let’s see how many more times I can make a fool of myself before lunch,_ she thought, a little sarcastically and feeling quite bitter towards her runaway mouth.

“You finished?” Remus had swallowed the rest of his own breakfast while Lily had been berating herself.

“Er, yeah.” Lily wiped her mouth hastily and rose to her feet as her companion did.

“I need to make sure Siri and James are up – they’ll be upset if they miss breakfast – but I was thinking we could make a snowman before everyone starts throwing snowballs. What do you think?” Remus asked, already leading the way back to Gryffindor Tower.

 _Aw!_ Lily’s sappy inner voice sighed. “Sounds great!” she enthused, then mentally kicked herself for sounding so eager.

Remus laughed, obviously not put off by her excitement.

Lily forced herself to relax and they continued in comfortable silence.

Lily was just congratulating herself on not doing or saying anything for a good five minutes that would further make her look like a fool when, as so often happens, disaster struck.

Remus was courteously holding one of the passage doors open for her when it happened. The end of the world as Lily knew it.

“Er,” said Remus, staring up.

“Uh,” Lily replied, looking anywhere but at him.

“Um,” Remus agreed, still looking up.

“So?” she asked, sneaking a sidelong glance at him.

“Um,” Remus repeated, now focused on his shoes.

“Uh,” she said a second time.

“Right,” he nodded decisively.

“Oh?” Lily inquired.

“Ah…” he hesitated.

“Ehm,” Lily fidgeted.

“Yeah,” said Remus.

“Yeah?” she questioned.

“Yeah,” he confirmed.

“Okay,” she nodded, feeling her face heat up for what felt like the millionth time that morning.

“Well,” he moved closer.

“Well,” she mimicked his shuffle forward.

“Well,” Remus said again.

“I’ve never –” Lily started to blurt, then stopped, horrified yet again at her inability to control her tongue.

“Me neither,” Remus admitted, sounding as nervous as Lily felt.

They stared at each other for a long moment, then Remus started to smile, and Lily started to laugh, the tension easing.

“I guess it won’t matter if we’re both terrible, then,” Remus said, sounding relieved.

“I guess not,” Lily agreed, feeling as relieved as Remus sounded.

“So, shall we?” he asked.

Lily took a deep breath and nodded firmly. “Let’s shall.”

Remus smiled encouragingly at her and closed the distance between them.

Lily sighed slightly as his lips pressed against hers, one of his hands sliding into her hair as the other slipped around her waist. Her own hands fluttered, unsure what to do or where to go. They’d just settled lightly on his shoulders when a noise farther down the passage caused the brunet to pull sharply away from her.

Lily opened eyes she didn’t remember closing and turned towards the sound.

Potter and Black were standing several feet away wearing identical looks of horrible astonishment.

“Oh, hell,” Remus said, voice so low Lily wasn’t sure he’d really spoken at all. “Look,” he said louder, hands outstretched towards his friends as though in supplication. “It’s not what it looks like.”

There was a long pause. The two black-haired boys seemed to have been struck dumb.

 _That must be a first,_ a tart voice that sounded a bit like Winnie said in Lily’s mind.

Potter picked up his jaw from where it had fallen on the floor, but still seemed unable to speak. Black managed to recover rather more quickly.

“It looks,” he said in a voice so cold Lily was surprised ice wasn’t forming, “like you and Evans were kissing.”

Potter was just staring. Again. Lily shifted uncomfortably.

“Well,” Remus said slowly. “I suppose to the casual observer –”

“Spare me the textbook, professor,” Black bit out. His face was tight. “Were you or were you not just kissing?” he demanded.

Lily narrowed her eyes. Something strange was going on. She didn’t know Black well enough to be able to confidently recognize anything more than anger from him, but she would almost swear she could detect hurt in his grey eyes. Remus was a different story. Her friend seemed nervous and a little angry, but it was almost as though he wasn’t aware of either, which was downright bizarre. And he was behaving as though he’d just been caught red-handed and was trying to avoid an explosion. For some reason, he reminded her of Petunia’s summer boyfriend when Petunia had caught him snogging another girl, but Lily couldn’t put her finger on why for the life of her.

“ _Technically_ –” Remus began.

Lily cut him off. “Yes,” she said, staring defiantly at Black. She felt oddly protective of Remus, and was, frankly, quite sick of the grey-eyed boy always walking over her friend, whether he minded or not. _Besides,_ she thought, a little rebelliously, _what business is it of his if Remus and I kiss? It’s not like_ he _has any claim on us._ “We were.”

“Lily,” Remus hissed – obviously trying to keep her out of it – but too late.

“Was I speaking to you?” Black’s tone was a low snarl as he eyed her with something akin to severe distaste.

Lily suddenly understood why people went out of their way not to anger Sirius Black. It was as though the boy radiated some kind of malicious force; a chill ran down Lily’s spine and she realized she had goosebumps. She stuck out her chin, eyes glittering angrily. She refused to be cowed by a teenage boy. “I was merely clarifying that we _were_ kissing. It’s a tradition, you know. To kiss under the mistletoe.” She pointed.

Potter and Black both automatically looked up, saw the culprit, then looked back down again.

“Thank you, Miss Priss,” Black sneered.

“ _Sirius_ ,” Remus growled, clearly embarrassed and aggravated.

Black glanced at the brunet, saw the lips thinned with anger and the amber eyes flashing dangerously, and he flushed, looking almost… _ashamed? That can’t be right._ “Come on, James,” he grunted. “Let’s get out of here before these two start snogging.”

Potter jumped at being addressed, as though he’d forgotten his partner-in-crime was even there. He hastily turned to follow Black back the way they’d come, trailing, “Have a good day, Evans!” behind him in a strangled voice, followed a moment later by a muffled _thump_ , then, “Ow! What was that for?” in a much more normal tone.

Lily turned to her companion. This bizarre power he seemed to have over the grey-eyed boy never ceased to amaze her.

Remus was staring after his friends. His expression was a mixture of irritation, guilt, and confusion.

“Remus?”

“I don’t understand,” he murmured, not looking at her.

“Understand what?”

“Why he was acting like _that_ ,” Remus gestured uselessly in the direction Potter and Black had gone.

“You know Black doesn’t like me.” If Lily hadn’t already been convinced of this fact, the preceding episode would have cleared up any doubts she could have had.

“That’s not true!” the boy protested, turning towards her at last. “He just feels he has to watch out for me, because… well, you know. He’s just protective.”

 _Possessive, more like,_ Lily thought, but didn’t say. She also kept to herself that Black’s ‘Werewolf Protection Plan’ had started long before he’d been aware of said furry little problem. “He’s been going out with Natasha for ages now,” she said instead. “Haven’t they kissed?”

Remus raised an eyebrow at this seeming change of conversation. “No.”

“Are you sure?”

“He would have told me.”

“Maybe that’s why he was ‘acting like _that_ ,’” Lily suggested.

“What?”

“Maybe it’s that you had your first kiss first.”

Remus seemed to consider this. “Maybe,” he said slowly after a long moment. He looked more than a little doubtful.

“Are you going to talk about it, then?” Lily asked.

Remus gave her a funny look before his expression cleared and he shook his head. “I’ll just ignore him the rest of the day. He’ll need some time to cool off – and to settle James’s ruffled feathers.”

Lily chose to ignore the last comment and its accompanying smirk in favor of trying to understand the boy’s thought process. “And everything will just be fine tomorrow?” she wondered.

Remus nodded. “He’ll sneak into my bed tonight to give me chocolate as an apology. He knows it will make me feel better if I’m still angry.”

“He’ll sneak into your bed?” Lily’s eyebrows had gone up.

Remus nodded again.

“He does this a lot?” For some nameless reason, this struck a chord with Lily, but she couldn’t figure out why.

“Only when we’ve had a fight.” Remus paused. “And after full moons,” he added in a softer voice, as though to himself.

“He gives you chocolate after full moons?”

“What? Oh.” Remus had unaccountably turned red. “Let’s get our cloaks and go make that snowman,” he said hastily, and began walking rapidly down the passage, away from the problematic mistletoe.

Lily frowned, wondering why her friend hadn’t answered her last question and what had made him blush. And what _was_ with Black?

Her frown deepened as she realized Remus was well ahead of her. She put her questions aside for another day, and hurried to catch up.

**TBC**


	11. Bella Luna (Part I)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MWPP Era. Fourth Year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius's POV.

Sirius sat hunched near the window of the train compartment he, James, and Peter had claimed for their group. He was trying to find a position from which he could see out the window without being visible to the crowd still on the platform. James and Peter were outside, saying goodbye to their families. Sirius’s parents had never set much store by prolonged goodbyes, they would merely get Sirius and his younger brother Regulus wherever they needed to be, tell them to behave, and leave. In the past, Sirius had wished they would be more like other parents and stay until the train left, but today he was glad he could just hide in the compartment.

“Anyone sitting here?” a strange-familiar voice asked from behind Sirius.

The black-haired boy whipped around so quickly he fell from the seat he’d been crouched on to land in a tangled heap on the floor. He peered up at the brunet who was staring down at him, an amused glint in his amber eyes. “What?” he asked with as much dignity as he could manage from his current position.

“I asked if anyone was sitting here,” Remus’s strange-familiar voice replied. “Everywhere else is full.”

“Well,” Sirius considered. “I _was_ sitting here, but I’m not really anymore.” He gave his friend a plaintive look. “If you help me sit here again, you can join me.”

Remus chuckled – a deeper sound than Sirius remembered. For some reason, it hadn’t occurred to Sirius that Remus’s voice would be changing, even though his own had, and James’s had, and even Peter’s was starting to.

The brunet entered the compartment and offered the prone boy his hand.

Sirius grasped it and allowed himself to be heaved to his feet. His stomach did a series of somersaults as warmth from Remus’s hand spread up Sirius’s arm. Without thinking, he pulled the smaller boy into a tight embrace. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered against his friend’s ear.

Remus shivered slightly as he returned the hug.

“Are you cold?” Sirius inquired, pulling back slightly and rubbing Remus’s bare arms to warm him up.

“No,” Remus shook his head, but shivered again, skin twitching slightly under Sirius’s palms.

“Liar,” Sirius accused without any venom. He himself felt uncomfortably warm, and wasn’t quite sure how his friend could be cold, but maybe it had something to do with the nearness of the full moon. After all, Remus’s transformations had been getting steadily worse over the last year and the moon had been affecting him more than it used to on a regular basis. A momentary impulse washed over him to hug the other boy again, but he ignored it in favor of turning away to rummage in his trunk.

“What are you doing, Siri?” Remus inquired curiously in his strange new voice.

“Looking for – this!” Sirius pulled his cloak free and closed the trunk again. “Here.” He wrapped it around Remus’s tee-shirted shoulders and steered the brunet into a seat.

“It smells like you,” Remus commented, then abruptly flushed.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius said, a little taken aback and feeling slightly hurt. “I didn’t realize –”

“No! No!” Remus said hastily. He reached out and pulled Sirius down to sit next to him so he could look the black-haired boy in the eyes without craning his neck. “I like it,” he insisted, even as the flush turned into an outright blush.

“Oh,” a little bubble of warmth swelled unaccountably in Sirius’s stomach. “Okay.”

“Um,” Remus said awkwardly after a moment. “Where you, er, _hiding_ when I came in?”

It was Sirius’s turn to flush. “No?”

“Liar,” Remus countered. “What were you hiding from?”

Sirius shifted. _No way out, I suppose. He always knows when I’m lying._ “Not _what_ ,” he muttered. “ _Who_.”

“Whom,” Remus corrected automatically.

“Yes, that,” Sirius grumbled.

“Well?” Remus nudged the grey-eyed boy in the arm when no more information was forthcoming.

“Natasha,” Sirius admitted.

Remus shoot him an odd look askance. “You’re hiding from Natasha?”

“Yes.”

“Mind if I ask why?”

“If you must.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “ _Why_ are you hiding from Natasha?”

“Because I don’t want her to see me.”

“ _Sirius_.”

 _She’s scary,_ Sirius thought, but did not say. “She kept owling me all summer.”

“You two were pretty close last term,” Remus pointed out, voice slightly clipped. “It stands to reason she wanted to talk to you over the summer.”

“We were not _close_ ,” Sirius protested. “And I did _not_ want to talk to her at _all_ over the summer. And I _certainly_ didn’t want to _see_ her.”

“You call shoving your tongue down her throat every chance you got ‘not close’?” Remus inquired. He was holding Sirius’s cloak around him rather tightly.

 _What’s he so bothered about?_ Sirius wondered. “I only ‘shoved my tongue down her throat’ – as you so eloquently put it – to shut her up,” he retorted, not feeling particularly happy with the way this conversation was going. He hadn’t seen his friend in two months and did _not_ want to spend this time talking about some girl. “Besides, who are you to talk? You spent last term shoving _your_ tongue down Evans’s throat!” Even as the words left his mouth, Sirius knew he’d gone too far.

Remus gasped, looking as though he’d just been punched. “I did _not_!” he hissed. “I kissed her _once_ over the Christmas holidays, Sirius. My tongue was no where _near_ her throat. And we _only_ kissed because of the mistletoe. I would never do that to James!”

“Yeah, well…” Sirius couldn’t think of anything to say. “Good,” he muttered at last.

Remus snorted. He was still scowling and clutching Sirius’s cloak as though it were a lifeline.

Sirius sighed. _Barely back with him for ten minutes and he’s already calling me ‘Sirius.’_ “Look, Re, I didn’t mean –”

“I know,” the brunet cut him off. “I shouldn’t have gone off at you like that. I’m sorry. It’s just, the moon…”

“I know,” Sirius echoed. Impulsively he took one of Remus’s hands in his. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did. There’s no excuse. I was just… I don’t know. I thought I’d made it clear to Natasha months ago that whatever it was between us was over, but she just got more… clingy. And then my parents…” he trailed off, not really wanting to get into it just then. “Was it really bad this summer?” he asked instead, knowing his friend would understand.

Remus hesitated, then nodded. “The wolf’s maturing. I think that’s what’s causing it.” He paused and ducked his head. “I missed you, you know,” he whispered. “I always sleep better when you’re there. You keep the nightmares away and…” he paused again. Sirius could see his face reddening. “You’re warm,” Remus finished. He didn’t look up, but his fingers tightened around Sirius’s.

“I sleep better with you, too,” Sirius admitted, feeling slightly tingly.

Remus looked up, amber eyes almost glowing, a soft smile on his lips.

“Having a nice heart-to-heart?” a voice sneered from the doorway of the compartment.

Sirius’s head snapped up. “What do you want, _Snivellus_?” he demanded of the greasy-haired fourteen-year-old boy.

Remus’s fingers tightened again, this time in warning. He hadn’t turned around, but kept his eyes fixed firmly on Sirius, as though he were willing him to stay put and not rise to the bait.

“Is there a problem, here?” James’s voice inquired from behind Snape.

Snape spun away from Sirius and Remus to face the threat at his back. “Well,” he snarled. “If it isn’t Potty and his pet mouse.”

Sirius tried to rise, but Remus held on.

“You want to watch it, _Snivellus_ ,” James’s voice growled. “Causing trouble first day back. I’d hate to have to teach you another lesson about bothering us before term’s even started.”

Snape opened his mouth, but was nearly thrown off balance as the train lurched into motion.

“Don’t waste your time, James,” Remus said loudly, still watching Sirius. “The prefects will be patrolling soon. You wouldn’t want to get on their bad side for something like _him_.”

Sirius snorted, but relaxed. Remus was right. If they were going to irritate the prefects before term had begun, it ought to be for a good prank, not for taking out the garbage.

Snape said nothing, just glared, and swept off down the corridor outside the compartment.

James and Peter entered and sat on the bench across from Sirius and Remus. James eyed their entwined hands, but said nothing.

“So,” Peter piped up after a few minutes, as the city outside the window gave way to rolling countryside. “What did you lot do over the summer?”

– – – – –

Peter’s eyes darted back and forth between Sirius and James for a moment, then settled on the spectacled boy. “James. Truth or dare.”

“Dare,” James replied without bothering to consider.

“Dye your hair pink for a week.”

James raised an eyebrow, but nodded. “Okay.”

“Aw, Pete,” Sirius groaned. “You never come up with anything new.”

James hit his grey-eyed friend with the pillow he’d been leaning on. “Shut up, Sirius. If Peter wants me to dye my hair pink again, that’s his choice.”

“You’re just saying that because it’s an easy dare that won’t get you in trouble when you get caught,” Sirius retorted, yanking the offending pillow away from James and hitting his attacker with it in turn.

“So what if I am?” James demanded, grabbing his pillow back and sitting on it.

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“You never come up with anything new, either,” Peter pointed out.

“Shut up, Pettigrew,” Sirius snapped, swatting the slightly pudgy boy over the back of the head with his now-pillowless hand.

“He’s right, Siri,” Remus remarked from the relative safety of his bed. “You haven’t been particularly creative lately, either.”

Sirius turned to look at the fourth Marauder, who was peering over the top of a particularly musty-looking book at the threesome sprawled across the dorm-room floor.

“How would you know?” James inquired, voicing Sirius’s thoughts as he so often did these days. “You never play.”

“I can listen, even if I’m not playing,” Remus rejoined pointedly. “Just because I don’t feel it necessary to make a fool of myself or have you pry into my life even more than you already do, doesn’t mean I can’t hear you perfectly from here and enjoy the spectacle you make. And I have to say, none of you has anything exceptionally entertaining to offer these days.”

“Why don’t you play with us, then?” Sirius suggested impulsively. _Oh, the things we could make him do…_ “Perhaps a new victim would liven things up.” He grinned wickedly.

“Thanks ever so for the offer,” Remus said, ever so politely. “But I prefer to keep my person intact.” He smiled sweetly.

Sirius’s stomach flip-flopped. He forced a laugh.

“You know,” Remus drawled casually, “If you think _new victims_ might liven things up, you might try playing with Lily and the girls. Their games have been rather stale of late, as well.”

“Play Truth or Dare with _girls_?” Peter asked in a hushed tone.

“That’s traditionally how it’s done, Peter,” Remus acidly informed the awed boy.

Sirius sent the brunet a startled look. Remus was usually much more patient with their less bright friend.

“It might not be such a bad idea,” James admitted, giving Sirius an innocent look.

“I’m not daring you to kiss Evans,” Sirius told the hazel-eyed boy, knowing exactly what his friend was thinking.

Remus laughed.

“I’ll do it,” Peter offered eagerly.

 _Little snot,_ Sirius thought, but without any particular malice. Remus’s laugh was too nice to be ruined with venomous thoughts.

Remus snorted. “Of course you will, Pete,” he remarked dryly and buried his nose in his book once more.

– – – – –

“Stop fussing, Sirius.”

“I’m not fussing.”

“Yes, you are. Peter agrees. Don’t you, Pete?” James turned to the smaller boy.

Peter nodded obediently.

Sirius glared at him over his shoulder.

Peter trembled slightly, but it was probably just the cold gust of wind that swept over the three boys at that moment, for he also shrugged, looking barely apologetic. “Well, you are,” he pointed out.

Sirius scowled at the frozen ground. They were right and he knew it. “I just don’t like leaving him,” he grumbled.

James sighed in exasperation. “He’s not even _awake_.”

“I know, but –”

“He said we shouldn’t miss out on a Hogsmeade weekend just because he couldn’t come with us,” Peter reminded them.

“I know. I know. It’s just…” Sirius trailed off.

“It’s just you wish you could do something to help, and we’re no closer to perfecting the Animagus transformation than we were a year ago,” James finished for him.

Sirius nodded. “I just hate being helpless,” he admitted softly, eyes still fixed downwards, on the dirty snow under his feet.

“We all do, Sirius,” James said gently.

“Why don’t we get him some chocolate and head back early?” Peter suggested.

“Can we?” Sirius felt a little bubble of hope build in his chest as his lips curled upwards in relief.

“Course we can.” James punched him lightly on the shoulder, then poked his cheek, squishing the skin upwards. “That’s the first time you’ve smiled all day.”

Sirius huffed indignantly and batted his friend’s hand away, but couldn’t keep the slightly foolish grin on his face from widening happily.

– – – – –

“Siri? Are you awake?” Remus’s voice was low, scarcely more than an exhalation of breath.

“Mm, half,” Sirius mumbled into a face-full of brown hair.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“No, no, s’okay,” Sirius insisted, eyes still closed against the hair in his face but feeling more awake with every passing moment. “I’m awake. You all right?” he tried to ask, worried the moon had affected his friend even more than he was letting on, only it came out closer to ‘yalride?’ than ‘you all right?’ due to the hair trying to get into his mouth.

“Yes,” Remus assured him hastily, obviously sensing the dark-haired boy’s concern despite his inability to speak clearly. “I’m fine. Well, as fine as expected anyway. Better, actually, that’s why… I just wanted to… I wanted to thank you.”

“The chocolate was Peter’s idea,” Sirius felt compelled to admit. Feeling somewhat loathe to disentangle himself from his friend for any reason, he used his nose and chin to move Remus’s hair to one side.

Remus squirmed. “That tickles,” he said, the hint of a laugh in his low voice.

“Sorry,” Sirius said, but he was now speaking directly into the back of Remus’s neck, and the smaller boy only squirmed again.

“I didn’t mean about the chocolate,” Remus said after a moment, still shivering slightly in time with Sirius’s breathing. “Though it was very good and very welcome. I meant for _this_.” He squeezed the arms wrapped around his waist. “For being there when I wake up after the full moon. For helping me when I can’t…” he hesitated, then continued, clearly avoiding whatever he had planned to say. “For staying with me at night. I used to have the most awful nightmares, but when you’re here, I can sleep.”

Sirius’s arms tightened, pulling the smaller boy closer. “I wish I could do more for you,” he murmured. “I will, you know,” he added. “Someday. I may not be able to cure you, but I will find a way to make it easier for you. I promise.”

“Siri, you do so much already, you can’t –”

“I promise,” Sirius repeated fiercely, more determined than ever to master the Animagus transformation, on his own if the others couldn’t manage. He pulled the other boy even more sharply against him to emphasize his oath. A strange jolt ran through him and he shuddered slightly with it.

At the same moment, Remus stiffened slightly against him, a noise somewhere between a moan and a groan issuing from his mouth.

Sirius instantly loosened his strangle-hold. “Did I hurt you?” he asked anxiously.

“No,” Remus replied. His voice was thick and a little choked.

 _Oh, shit,_ Sirius thought, trying to control his instinct to panic. _He’s lying. It must be bad. He wouldn’t lie if it weren’t bad._ “Rem, I’m sorry.” He tried to turn the other boy to face him, but Remus wouldn’t move. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, really I didn’t. I thought you were all fixed up before you left the hospital wing. You showered on your own so I figured… And you looked all right when you got into bed. Was it a bruise? Or…?” _Why won’t he look at me?_

“Really,” Remus insisted, voice sounding more controlled. “I’m all right. You didn’t hurt me.”

“But you sounded like…” Sirius trailed off again. “Remus, if I haven’t hurt you, why won’t you face me?”

There was silence for a moment, disturbed only by the broken snores coming from Peter’s bed.

At last, Remus shifted slightly so he could turn just his head towards the grey-eyed boy wrapped around him.

And suddenly they were nose-to-nose, so close that Sirius could have counted the brunet’s eyelashes. For a moment he forgot how to breathe. Then the amber eyes blinked and he remembered, inhaling sharply, but he didn’t dare exhale.

 _Did I brush my teeth?_ he wondered frantically. _Oh, damn – What if I didn’t? What if my breath smells?_

Dimly, through the haze of his sudden, inexplicable panic, he registered the fact that Remus wasn’t breathing either – they were too close together for him not to have felt it if he were. That knowledge was enough to shake him free of whatever it was gripping him, and he forced himself to release the air trapped in his lungs, slowly, slowly, through his nose, keeping his mouth tightly shut.

“You’re sure you’re all right?” Sirius managed to ask after a moment, trying not to sound as though he was holding his breath again as he spoke.

“I’m sure,” Remus nodded slowly, holding Sirius’s gaze. The movement brought his face even closer to Sirius’s.

 _Close enough to kiss,_ Sirius thought fuzzily. His eyes slid down to Remus’s mouth and fixed on the full coral lips. He had already started leaning in when his brain caught up and he almost jerked backwards, eyes darting back up to Remus’s.

Something flickered in the amber depths, but, in the near dark of the sleeping dormitory, Sirius couldn’t read it.

Remus gave another nod, a stiff sort of jerk that barely classified, and turned away. “G’night, Siri,” he whispered. The very sound of his voice seemed to warn Sirius against asking anything.

“G’night, Re,” he whispered back. Impulsively he curled closer, burying his nose once more in the soft brown hair.

And it wasn’t until his friend had relaxed against him that Sirius could close his eyes and drift into sleep.

– – – – –

“To summarize, just so we’re all clear on the rules,” here Sirius flicked his gaze first at Remus, who was sitting outside the circle of fourth years, nose defiantly buried in a textbook, then at Evans, whose eyebrows twitched as though she were trying to suppress her amusement. “We have decided on six ground rules. Firstly,” he held up the index finger of his left hand, “all truths must relate to the person being asked.”

“Secondly,” James picked up, raising two fingers into the air as Sirius put up a second finger, “all dares must be carried out in the presence of at least two witnesses within a week.”

“Thirdly,” continued Sirius, now holding up three fingers, “none of us may dare anyone to do anything to or for ourselves.” He glanced askance at James, who merely shot a quick glance at Peter. _Of course,_ Sirius thought, with an inner grin. _Peter promised, after all._

“Fourthly,” James lifted his smallest finger to join its brethren, “all requests for truths must be questions, no commands, etc. will be accepted, nor will truths disguised as dares be accepted. Moreover, anything other than a question will constitute as a forfeit.”

“Fifthly,” Sirius grinned as he and James both waved their lefts hands in the air, all five fingers extended, “according to the spell we will all cast, none of us can lie when answering a truth. We may choose not to answer, in which case we must instead complete a dare, but if we do answer, we will only be able to speak the truth.”

“And finally,” James looked at Sirius, left eyebrow twitching slightly.

Sirius looked back, wrinkling his nose.

They both scowled at their hands, then, in unison, shrugged and held up their wands in their right hands instead of another finger.

“Any one of us can leave the game at any time,” James went on, “ _except_ during your own turn. Once your name has been called, you are bound to remain until you have answered your truth, or agreed to your dare, and asked a truth or dared a dare of someone else.”

“Any questions?” asked Sirius.

The three girls exchanged glances.

Sirius watched them for a moment, then turned and lifted an eyebrow at James. The other black-haired boy returned the gesture and added a slight quirk of the lips. Sirius stifled a laugh.

“Just one question,” said Wintana Girma (or ‘Winnie’ as she insisted on being called), refusing to pay attention to Evans, who was shooting the dark-haired girl warning looks. “Why isn’t Remus playing?”

Sirius shot a quick look at the brunet, who was still reading, apparently oblivious to the conversation. But Sirius saw the other boy’s lips twitch, and couldn’t suppress his own grin. “Mr. Lupin is otherwise engaged,” he informed the girls.

“He ought to play,” the dark-haired girl said loudly, obviously for Remus’s benefit. “It would be so much more fun!” She nudged her redheaded friend in the ribs as she spoke, and giggled.

Evans scowled, but flushed.

Sirius felt something akin to a growl rising up inside him. “If Rem doesn’t want to play, he doesn’t have to,” he snapped at the two girls, and shot a quick glare at Alice as well, just for good measure. “So let him be.” He ignored the voice in his head that was telling him he was being a hypocrite, as he had spent a good hour earlier that day trying to convince Remus to join the game, not to mention all the time he spent at that same task every time the boys had played on their own. It was the one thing Sirius had never managed to get Remus to do, which, of course, drove Sirius batty. But the covetous glances Winnie and Evans were sending in Remus’s direction made him suddenly very glad that his friend had, for once, not been swayed.

The girls pouted momentarily, but let the matter drop.

All six raised their wands, tips touching at the center of the circle. “ _Veritas dicetur_ ,” they recited together. The wands glowed silver where they met. The light pulsed once, twice, three times, then vanished.

“Right, then,” James looked around the circle. “Who wants to start? Pete?”

“Er, all right.” The boy wrinkled his nose for a moment, looking around the group in turn. His gaze fixed back on James after a moment. “James. Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” the hazel-eyed boy replied promptly.

“Er… Dye your hair pink for a week.”

“Okay,” James agreed, but rolled his eyes as he flicked his wand.

Sirius groaned, but refrained from commenting. He glanced at Remus.

The brunet lifted his book to hid his face – as though he knew Sirius was looking at him even without taking his eyes off the page in front of him – but, whether by accident or design, he was not quite quick enough to keep the sharp grey eyes from spotting the twitch of coral lips before they vanished behind the textbook.

“When is your hair _not_ pink, Jimmy?” Alice inquired with a smirk.

James scowled at her. “If you weren’t a girl, Alice, I’d –”

“Knock my teeth in,” the girl finished. “Yes, I know. I _also_ know that why you don’t has nothing to do with the fact that I’m a girl and everything to do with the fact that the last time you _tried_ to knock my teeth in, my mother said she’d hex you if you tried it again and _your_ mother agreed.”

“I was five!” James protested. “I don’t go ‘round hitting girls anymore. No matter _how_ annoying they are. Back me up, Sirius.”

“Whatever you say, _Jimmy_ ,” Sirius gave his friend a somewhat wicked grin.

James glared. “Truth or dare, _Siri_?”

Sirius gritted his teeth. _Note to self: Kill Jimmy. P.S. Stop calling him Jimmy._ “Dare,” he growled.

James eyes narrowed. “Stand on your desk in Transfiguration and proclaim your undying love and devotion to McGoogles.”

Sirius raised an _‘Is that the best you can do?’_ eyebrow. “Okay,” he agreed, and grinned at the pink-haired boy’s irked expression. “Alice, darling,” he turned to the girl. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” his distant cousin responded blithely.

Sirius thought for a moment. Then it came to him. _Brilliant._ He sent James a _‘You’ll love this’_ wink before turning his attention back to the girl. “Kiss Peter.”

Alice’s jaw dropped. “ _What_?” she squeaked.

Winnie made a choking sound that might have been a smothered laugh.

James caught Sirius’s eye. _Nice._

Sirius smirked in return. _I know._ “I dared you to kiss Peter,” he told her.

“Truth, then,” she gritted.

“I should probably feel insulted,” Peter commented lightly, clearly not particularly insulted at all – probably chalking it up to Alice’s boyfriend rather than anything about himself that might be less-than-kissable.

Sirius pasted an innocent look on his face. “All right then,” he nodded agreeably. “How far have you _really_ gotten with Frank?”

All three girls gasped.

Alice made a strange half-growl sound and glared fiercely at Sirius.

 _If looks could kill,_ he thought happily, feeling inordinately pleased with himself. He glanced swiftly at Remus, but the boy’s face was completely hidden behind his book.

“Fine,” Alice said through clenched teeth. “Just. Fine.” She rose up on her knees and crossed the circle to Peter, who looked startled. “Close your mouth, Pettigrew,” she snapped.

His teeth clicked together as he hastily obeyed, beginning to look frightened.

She closed her eyes tightly, leaned in, and kissed him firmly on the mouth. She drew back a moment later and returned to her place between Winnie and James, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. Then she turned to Sirius, eyes murderous in her round face.

“Truth or dare, Black.”

“Truth,” he said hastily, not liking the glint of malice in her eyes and deciding it wasn’t particularly wise to test her just then.

Her jaw clenched briefly, as if she were considering, then, “Where does Remus go every month?”

There was a sharp intake of breath that might have been from either James or Peter – or both together – and Sirius felt his heart skip a beat in horror. “You can’t ask _me_ about _him_!” he blurted, remembering the regulations with a surge of relief. His eyes flicked to the boy in question, who had gone very still behind his text. “That’s cheating! Rule one!”

Alice’s eyes narrowed. “Fine,” she said quickly. “You have to do a dare then, if you won’t answer the truth.”

Sirius had a sinking feeling that she had planned this. He took a breath. _I’m a Gryffindor,_ he reminded himself sternly. _I can take whatever she throws at me._ “Fine,” he nodded, meeting her sharp gaze head on. “Dare.”

“Kiss him.”

 _Huh?_ “What?”

“Kiss Remus.”

Sirius’s heart seemed to stop. Then, “I can’t kiss Remus!”

“Yes you can, Sirius,” her eyes narrowed once more. For a kind-faced girl, it was amazing how dangerous she could look. “And you will. You have to.”

**TBC**


	12. Bella Luna (Part II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius's POV.

Sirius’s eyes flicked to Remus. The book had dropped a few inches and Sirius could see Remus’s amber eyes, still focused on his text, but not moving – he had stopped reading.

Sirius’s heart felt like it was trying to force its way out of his chest. His eyes darted half-frantically around the circle.

“A _real_ kiss,” Alice added, glaring at him in a very serves-you-right fashion. “None of your ‘quick peck on the lips’ nonsense.”

Winnie and Evans wore matching you-brought-this-on-yourself expressions. James looked sympathetic. Peter wouldn’t meet his eyes.

Sirius could hear his blood thundering through his veins. He felt warm and nervous and oddly eager. _What is wrong with you?_ he demanded of himself, half frightened, half awed, wholly confused.

“Well?” Alice’s sharp voice broke into Sirius’s thoughts.

“Right,” Sirius responded. “Right.” He stood and walked on unsteady legs to where Remus sat, book now cover-up in his lap as he gave up even the pretense of reading.

Remus watched him approach, an unidentifiable look in his amber eyes. His head tilted slightly as the black-haired boy drew closer, keeping his eyes on Sirius’s face.

Sirius crouched down in front of Remus’s chair. “I, um –” he started in a low voice.

“I know,” Remus’s soft voice sounded strange. “I heard.”

“If you don’t want me to, I won’t,” Sirius murmured. “They can’t make me answer about you. I can face the consequences for not taking the dare.”

“No, I –” Remus’s voice broke. “It’s okay.

“Are you sure?” It was suddenly very important that Remus not be forced into anything. “Because I don’t have to if –”

“Shut up, Siri. I don’t mind. Really. I –”

“Get on with it!” Alice called from the circle.

Sirius barely heard her. He was watching Remus carefully, trying to divine whether or not the younger boy was telling the truth.

“Siri,” Remus seemed to understand Sirius’s uncertainty. “I’m fine with it.”

Sirius thought he saw something flicker deep in the amber eyes, but the next moment he was sure he had imagined it.

“It’s just a dare, after all,” Remus added. “Right?”

Something very like a fist clenched in Sirius’s chest, but he forced a grin. “Right,” he agreed. He took a deep breath and leaned forward. He shifted, realizing how awkward his current position was for this, and braced one hand on the cushion by Remus’s shoulder, sliding the other hand carefully into the tawny locks behind Remus’s ear to help himself balance.

Remus’s eyelids drifted closed and his chin tilted upwards as though he had done this hundreds of times.

That thought made Sirius pause, but then Remus’s lips parted slightly, allowing his tongue to dart out to moisten them, and all coherent thoughts fled Sirius’s brain. He took another deep breath and leaned in again, tugging lightly on Remus’s hair to draw the other boy closer as the distance between them shrank to nothing.

Sirius didn’t remember closing his eyes – though at some point he must have done so – but it didn’t matter because he was _kissing Remus_ and it was so much better than kissing Natasha ever was, and there was the damp nudge of a tongue against his lips, which parted in acquiescence to the gentle touch and _where the hell did Remus learn to kiss like that?_

There was a low, nearly inaudible moan, but Sirius wasn’t sure if it had come from himself or Remus. There were hands on his shoulders, against his neck, in his hair, and he didn’t mind, only tugged again on the tawny locks twined about his fingers, trying to get closer.

Then Remus pulled back and Sirius just barely managed to stifle the whimper that rose in his throat at the loss. He opened his eyes to find Remus watching him, a slight flush in his pale cheeks.

“ _Wow_ ,” Sirius breathed.

Remus flushed a little darker. His hands had dropped to clutch the book spread across his lap.

Sirius opened his mouth, but, before he could say anything, he realized the circle of Fourth Years behind him and various other students around the room had erupted in sound several moments before. The noise of wolf-whistles and giggling brought Sirius back to Earth with a painful thump.

“Um…” he trailed off.

Remus offered him an awkward smile, then tilted his head, biting down lightly on his lower lip.

Sirius’s eyes fixed for a moment on the bright red, beestung lips, then darted away.

“If you two are quite finished,” Evans drawled, even as the noise from the rest of the common room died away with a few just-audible mutters of ‘ _It was a dare’_.

Sirius turned.

Peter’s jaw had dropped. James looked amused, though a little startled, as did Alice, while Evans and Winnie wore matching grins that reminded Sirius strongly of himself and James when they got a brilliant idea. It was rather disturbing to have that look turned on him.

James met Sirius’s eyes and Sirius got the funny feeling that James was trying to ask him something, but, for once, Sirius had no idea what was going on in James Potter’s head – his own was still full of whirling fog.

Finally James blinked and looked away. “Your turn, mate,” he reminded the grey eyed boy.

Sirius started. “Oh!” He’d completely forgotten about the game. _That’s why you and Remus… kissed,_ he reminded himself. “Right.” He glanced quickly at Remus, but the other boy wouldn’t meet his gaze. _Is he angry after all?_ Sirius wondered, a sinking feeling in his stomach. “Rem?” he lightly touched the brunet’s knee.

Remus looked up and their eyes met.

Something flipped over somewhere inside Sirius, and he couldn’t decide if it was good or bad. “Are you –” he started to ask.

“No,” Remus cut him off. “I’m not upset.”

“Oh.” Sirius shifted. “Good. I –”

“Si-ri-us,” James’s sing-song tone drew out his friend’s name. “Come back to us, Si-ri-us. Let someone else kiss Re-mus.”

Remus’s amber eyes widened, startled, even as Sirius felt his jaw tighten and his hands curl compulsively into fists.

“I’m just going to head up to the dormitory,” Remus said loudly, rising swiftly to his feet, book in hand.

“Spoilsport,” Winnie grumbled.

Sirius looked up at his friend.

“I’m fine, Siri,” Remus quietly answered the unspoken question. “Really. Go play. See if you can’t keep Pete from daring Lily to kiss James – or the other way around. I don’t think she’d be horribly appreciative of it at this moment in time.” He grinned, then headed away towards the stairs.

Sirius’s insides seemed to be melting, but it didn’t hurt. _How odd,_ he thought.

“Are you going to take your turn?” Winnie inquired.

Sirius turned back to the group. “Oh. Yeah. Sure.” His brain didn’t seem to be functioning properly. “Um, Winnie, truth or dare?”

Winnie raised an eyebrow. “Dare.”

“Uh,” Sirius blinked, trying to think. He walked on his knees back to the circle to buy time. Not enough. “Dye your hair pink for a week.”

Winnie snorted, and flicked her wand, casting the spell.

“Looks good,” Alice approved.

Winnie grinned. “Why, thank you. It is rather a fun idea.”

“Hey!” Peter protested indignantly. “How come when I use the dare, it’s boring and over-used, but when _Sirius_ does it, it’s _fun_?”

Sirius laughed with the others, feeling more like himself now that his insides seemed to have stopped squirming and his head had cleared. “I’m just gifted, my good man,” he replied. “And was quite fortunate in my chosen victim.” He winked at Winnie. “Stunning, dear girl,” he told her gallantly, bowing slightly from his sitting position. “You are simply stunning.”

Winnie laughed and turned to Evans. “Lils. Truth or dare.”

– – – – –

“Sirius! Remus! Peter! Sirius!” James came hurtling into the dorm, still in his Quidditch robes.

Sirius, who was partly immersed in an advanced book on Transfiguration (cleverly obtained from the Restricted Section), peered over the leather-bound tome at his flustered friend in a mixture of curiosity and annoyance.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at practice?” he inquired.

James shook his head, half-panting from having clearly bolted up the stairs. “Got out early,” he explained, leaning against the doorjamb. “And, oh, sweet Mischief! You will not _believe_ what I – Where are Remus and Peter?” he was looking around the room, but Sirius was the only Marauder in sight.

“Am I not good enough for you anymore?” Sirius asked, letting his voice wobble on the verge of tears and widening his eyes as he gazed desolately at the pink-haired boy.

“Afraid not, mate,” James replied without missing a beat. “It was fun while it lasted, but it’s time for me to move on. Greener pastures and bluer skies. That sort of thing. Where are they?”

“The Abyss of Words,” Sirius shuddered dramatically. “Re is helping Peter with that essay Binns set us. What happened to you that you need all of us?”

“Nothing happened to _me_ ,” James responded, stressing the pronoun. “Why aren’t you with them?”

“Did you not hear where they are?” Sirius arched an eyebrow, sidestepping the question.

“Mm,” James nodded absently, mind clearly on other things. “So what are you doing by yourself, then?”

“Thought I’d look up some stuff about Animagi,” Sirius hedged, hoping the usually-fairly-astute James was too preoccupied to notice. He really didn’t feel like trying to explain why he was really by himself instead of with his friends. He wasn’t sure he could tell even James how every time he had been close to Remus, in the week since the Truth or Dare game, he had kept feeling the urge to kiss the boy again. He didn’t even want to think about it – it confused him. Remus was a boy, after all, and a friend, besides. He’d thought at first it might be because they were friends, but he’d had to drop that theory because he certainly didn’t want his lips anywhere near James’s or Peter’s – the very idea made him rather ill. Then he’d thought it might just be natural to want to keep kissing someone after having done it once – like eating biscuits, you just couldn’t stop – but he hadn’t wanted to keep kissing Natasha, he’d only done that because it was the only way to shut her up. His most recent idea was that it was because Remus had been such an incredible kisser, but he’d discovered that idea made him wonder who Remus had been kissing to get so good at it, and _that_ made him feel even more ill than the thought of Peter’s lips.

“Well,” James was saying, “you’ll just hear first.”

“Hear…” it took Sirius a moment to remember that his bespectacled friend had wanted to tell him something.

“What I _saw_ ,” James elaborated.

Sirius waited.

“Aren’t you going to _ask_?” James demanded.

Sirius rolled his eyes – _How like him to run all the way here from the pitch and then make a big production of it_ – but put down his book and asked, “What did you see, James?”

“ _Well_ ,” the hazel-eyed boy exhaled with gusto and crossed the room to sit on his own bed, facing Sirius, before launching into his tale. “We got out of practice early, and Frank and I were on clean-up duty. Everyone else went ahead to change while we brought everything back to the shed. So, we were talking about the practice when we got to the broomshed, and the door was locked. I thought that was kind of strange, since we usually leave it open during practice, but I just assumed the last person to shut the door before practice must have locked it without thinking – you know, like Remus and Peter always lock their trunks – and Frank must have thought the same, because he unlocked it without knocking and we went in and _guess what we found inside!_ ”

“A yummy nougat center?”

“ _No!_ ” James exclaimed, clearly not listening to a word Sirius had said. “We found _two people kissing_!”

Sirius blinked at his friend. “So?” he asked.

“They weren’t _just kissing_ ,” James continued. “They were… _touching_.”

“They _were_ in the broomshed,” Sirius reminded the pink-haired boy. “If all you want’s a snog with your girl, you can do that anywhere.”

“ _No_!” James practically shouted. “You don’t get it!”

Sirius frowned, crossed his arms over his chest, and waited.

“It _wasn’t_ a boy and a girl. It was _two boys_.”

Sirius nearly swallowed his tongue.

James quirked a black eyebrow as Sirius choked. “You okay, mate?” he asked. “I know it’s shocking, but it’s not like _you_ had to _watch_ it.” He shuddered. “It was just… weird.”

“Who –” Sirius coughed. “Who was it?”

James shrugged. “A couple of Sixth Years. One’s in Ravenclaw, the other’s in Hufflepuff. Don’t remember their names, though. Why?”

Sirius ignored James’s question in favor of asking another of his own. “Are you going to… _do_ … anything?” he had a very funny feeling in the pit of his stomach and his throat was tight.

“Turn them in, you mean?” James wanted to know.

“Yeah.”

James considered for a moment.

Sirius watched him, forcing himself to breath, not to say anything, not to start counting the seconds slipping by, not to fidget. He wasn’t sure why this was so important, but he was starting to feel ill.

At last, James shook his head. “No, I’m not a tell-tale. How many times have _we_ broken rules? This is different, of course, but… It’s their business. It doesn’t affect me. As long as I don’t have to see it again.”

“You should let them know you won’t tell,” Sirius suggested, determinedly hiding his bizarre anxiety. “They’re probably worried.”

“They bolted pretty quickly,” James admitted. “But they weren’t actually, you know – _doing it_ – so it’s not like we caught them at something illegal, even if they _are_ underage, which I don’t know, anyway.”

“Yeah,” Sirius nodded, picking at a loose thread on the duvet beneath him. “You should still let them know. Think how you’d feel if you’d been caught during a prank and didn’t know if you were going to be reported.”

James eyed him suspiciously for a moment before sighing. “You’re right,” he agreed. “I’d want to know. I’ll talk to Frank. He knows them. He’ll tell them we won’t blab.”

“He won’t blab, either, then? You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.” James smirked. “I caught him and Alice behind the greenhouses two days ago.”

Sirius’s eyes widened. “And you’re just telling me _now_?”

“I was going to save it for the next time we play Truth or Dare with the girls.”

“Who says we’re playing with them again?”

“I never got to kiss Lily.”

“You never got to kiss Lily,” Sirius repeated.

“Exactly.”

Sirius groaned, but felt slightly relieved that the focus of the conversation had shifted.

James scowled. “None of that. Lily Evans is the essence of fiery magnificence. One does not groan in a displeased manner at the mention of the essence of fiery magnificence. It’s disrespectful, discourteous, rude, vulgar, crude, uncouth, and many other such synonyms besides.”

“She’s just a girl, mate,” Sirius snickered.

James looked highly affronted. “She is a _goddess_.”

“She’ll hex you if you so much as _breathe_ in her direction, much less try to _kiss_ her.”

“ _Au contraire_ ,” James beamed. “If it’s a dare, she can’t blame me, therefore it would be unfair to hex me – a fellow victim of a treacherous game – and Miss Lily Evans, flower of my life, sun in my sky –”

“– fist in your face –”

“– is nothing if not fair.” James glared warningly.

“But, Jamie-boy, you seem to be forgetting a few very important factors.”

“Oh?” James raised an eyebrow, then regally waved a hand for Sirius to continue. “Speak, good Sir Sirius, Knight of the Round Tower Dormitory.”

Sirius chuckled. “Your _fair_ Lady Faire isn’t an idiot, Sir James. She’ll know it was your idea. She’ll hex you and whoever is foolish enough to issue such a dare in equal measure. Very fair. _Her_ friends won’t do it – they’re her friends, after all. _Peter_ won’t do it – too scared. Rem doesn’t ever play, and even if he did, he wouldn’t dare you to kiss her any more than Alice or Winnie would. And _I_ won’t dare you because it amuses me to watch you suffer.”

James glared again, eyes narrowed behind his glasses, until he realized it was useless. “Heartless, unfeeling wretch,” he muttered, and flopped backwards on his bed. “Just because _your_ last girlfriend was a nightmare that wouldn’t go away doesn’t give you the right to take pleasure in destroying my very soul.”

Sirius grinned. “Of course it does. What else are friends for, after all?”

James groaned in a long-suffering sort of way and propped himself up on his elbows. “If you’re so miserable being alone that you are reduced to finding enjoyment in keeping me from the sweet embrace of my beloved, why don’t you just go and find yourself a new girl?”

Sirius started. “What?”

“It shouldn’t be hard. They all love you.”

Sirius scowled. “What would I want another girl for? I’m still basking in the glory of being liberated from the last one.”

James rolled his eyes. “I doubt that. You’ve been moody and broody and restless lately. A girl might perk you up. Look what it’s done for Frank.”

Sirius didn’t respond, tugging a little more insistently on the loose thread.

“See?” James gestured at Sirius, who merely scowled again. “My point exactly. Maybe we can ask some other girls to play Truth or Dare with us. You might find one you like.” He laughed. “Unless you’d prefer to snog Remus again,” he joked. “Like the queers in the broomshed.”

The bottom fell out of Sirius’s stomach and kept falling, taking all the blood from Sirius’s face with it.

“Speaking of, I want to tell Remus and Peter – they’ll think it’s a laugh.” He rolled himself off the bed and headed for the door. Hand on the knob, he turned. “You coming?”

Sirius shook his head, throat suddenly too tight for words.

James frowned in concern. “You look a bit peakish, mate. You want to visit the nurse?”

“No,” Sirius managed to force out. “No, I’m all right.”

James gave him a long, piercing, look, but let the matter drop. “See you, then.” And he was gone, the door swinging shut behind him.

Sirius stared for a long moment at the closed door, trying to figure out why he felt nervous and on the verge of panic.

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel, at this juncture, it might be necessary to make it clear that James isn’t actively trying to be nasty, he’s just not really thinking. He’s a teenaged boy, after all, and he was rather shocked. Also, it was illegal, at the time, so it's not like same-sex couples were open about their relationships.


	13. A Fool Positive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James's POV.

Sirius’s exasperated groan of, “This is completely _useless_ ,” was accompanied by the sound of a book slamming shut and immediately followed by the dull _thud_ of a head hitting a wooden bedpost.

James peered over the top of his own leather-bound tome to raise an eyebrow at his friend. “Troubles in paradise?” he inquired.

Sirius lifted a pillow to chuck across the room, then clearly thought the better of it and merely scowled.

James waited.

Sure enough, Sirius sighed and turned his scowl on the book in his lap. “He’s out there right now,” he said, waving vaguely towards the window, “tearing himself to shreds, and we’re sitting in here, comfortable as you please, and I just feel…” he trailed off.

“Useless,” James finished for him.

Sirius looked up, questioning.

“I feel the same,” James explained. “So does Peter.”

“Which is why he’s not here,” Sirius grumbled.

“He has a date,” James reminded him. “Speaking of, don’t you? With – whatsername – Juliet?”

Sirius snorted. “It was tomorrow night.”

“Oh,” James nodded. “Right. Wait. _Was_?”

“We’re over. She was too clingy.”

James frowned. “So were the last six girls.”

“I don’t like clingy girls.” Sirius wouldn’t look at him. “Besides, Rem needs us tomorrow night. Peter’d better not have plans again.”

“I’m sure Remus won’t mind if Peter goes out with his girlfriend tomorrow instead of watching him sleep or do homework. After all, not everyone has an endless supply of eager girls just praying for a second glance.” It came out a little more harshly than James had intended, but Sirius surprised him by not snapping back. In fact, Sirius was looking a little pinker than usual.

“Not my fault they like me,” the flushing aristocrat muttered.

“Especially seeing as you do nearly everything in your power to get rid of them,” James agreed sarcastically.

“Just because I don’t tell them to sod off every time they try to speak to me doesn’t mean I’m encouraging them,” Sirius insisted.

“No,” James conceded, “but sticking your tongue down their throats tends to hint at something more than the rudimentary courtesy due fellow classmates.”

Sirius’s mouth had opened – no doubt with some clever and quite possibly scathing retort – but he closed it quickly, giving James an odd look.

James quirked an eyebrow at him. “What?”

Sirius shook himself. “Nothing,” he said, and reached for another book from the pile at the foot of his bed.

James frowned. Sirius had been behaving very strangely for the past few months, the rapid succession of girlfriends – if they could be called that – being only a part of it. And James didn’t like not knowing what was going on in his best friend’s head.

“What were you going to say?” he asked, a little more insistently.

Sirius looked up at him, and, for a moment, James thought the other boy might refuse to answer, but he merely shrugged. “I was just going to say you sounded like Remus.” And he opened the new book and started reading.

James frowned again. _What does_ that _mean?_ he wondered. He opened his mouth to ask as much, but thought the better of it before any words escaped. Perhaps now was not the time. He’d think about it, and maybe try talking to Sirius later, once Remus was back. Sirius was always at his worst and most unapproachable right around the full moon, which was too bad, as their lycanthropic friend might have been able to help. The tawny-haired boy had an uncanny ability to calm Sirius down even when he was at his most difficult, which, lately, had been often.

James shook his head. It was all too confusing for him to deal with at the moment. He’d wait for Remus. Maybe he would know something.

That decided, James shot another glance at Sirius, who was absorbed in his book, and returned to his own reading.

– – – – –

“James?” Remus’s groggy and somewhat confused-sounding voice broke through James’s concentration.

The dark-haired boy grinned at his newly-conscious friend as he put his essay aside. “Good morning, Sunshine. Or, should I say,” he indicated the bright noonday sun shining through the window near Remus’s hospital wing bed, “good afternoon.”

“Uhm…”

“And how are you feeling this fine day?” James inquired, then winced.

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Just peachy, thanks.”

“Sorry,” James felt himself flush. “It’s just –”

“Habit,” Remus finished for him. “I know. Don’t worry about it.”

James gave a half smile. “How are you, really?”

The brunet shrugged and looked down, picking at a loose thread on his sleeve. “I’ll be fine.”

James frowned. _He always does this._ “Well, you look like shite,” he informed his friend tartly.

Remus’s head snapped up. “What did you –”

“It’s true,” James defended himself stubbornly. “You look like something the cat dragged in, only done up in pretty white bandages.”

“James –”

“We all _know_ you’re going through hell, Remus,” James continued, cutting the older boy off, “but you seem to feel like you have to sugarcoat everything for us.”

“I do not –”

“Look, I know you’re _going_ to be ‘fine,’ but if you feel like hell _now_ , _say_ you feel like hell. It’s okay to complain. It even helps, sometimes. And you’ve earned the right far more than any of the rest of us.”

Remus stared.

James waited expectantly.

“I feel like hell?” Remus offered finally, sounding rather unsure.

James rolled his eyes. “We’ll work on it.”

Remus gave him a lopsided grin. “Can’t wait.”

James returned it. “Mm.”

There was silence for a moment, then, “Where’s Sirius?”

“Lunch,” the hazel-eyed boy responded.

“Oh,” Remus nodded. “Not that I don’t appreciate you being here,” he added hastily. “It’s just _he_ usually is, and I –”

James laughed. “No need to put your foot in it, mate. I’m not offended. He _was_ here. Didn’t want to leave, actually. But he needed to eat. Idiot completely skipped breakfast this morning.”

Remus looked startled. “He skipped breakfast?”

James nodded. “Nabbed my cloak and snuck out around dawn, as always, but –”

“What?” Remus interrupted.

 _Uh-oh._ “You didn’t know he always does that, did you.” It wasn’t a question.

Remus shook his head.

“Oh.” _Damn._ “Well. He likes to check on you – make sure you get back here all right, you know – but he usually comes to breakfast to let us know how you are, and then we take it in turns to come up here between classes, but he stayed up here all morning, even though… What?”

Remus was staring again. “You all check on me?”

James fidgeted. “Well, yeah, sometimes.” He suddenly felt guilty for not visiting more often. “Sirius does the most. He worries, you know. Can’t sit still. McGonagall kicked him out of class once, actually –” James stopped. “Erm, you weren’t meant to know that.”

“What?” Remus was still looking rather stunned.

“Er,” James could feel himself turning red. “Sirius didn’t want you to know about that. Said you’d get brassed off.” _And I’ll never hear the end of it if he finds out_ I _spilled._

“Oh. Well, I won’t say anything.”

“Thanks,” James grinned.

There was a comfortable silence for a moment.

“Say, Remus?”

“Hm?”

“Sirius. He’s been acting… _oddly_ for the past couple months.”

A funny look crossed Remus’s face, but it was gone so quickly James wondered if he’d imagined it.

“You _have_ noticed, haven’t you?” James pressed when the other boy didn’t say anything.

The brunet nodded slowly. “Yes. I’ve noticed.”

“Do you…” the hazel-eyed boy hesitated, then ploughed on. “Do you know why?”

Remus shook his head. “He hasn’t said anything to me, if that’s what you’re asking. He’s just been… tense, I suppose. But that’s not even the right word.”

“I know what you mean, though. It’s almost as if he’s scared of something,” James mused, then blinked, unsure where that thought had come from.

“Maybe.” Remus shifted. “Actually, I was thinking it might be something to do with his family.”

“With his family?” James repeated.

Remus nodded. “He doesn’t talk about them much, you know, not even to complain. Maybe… maybe it’s like with me, not complaining to keep people from worrying?”

James was silent for a moment, thinking. “That makes more sense than it doesn’t,” he agreed. “The worse the problem, the less likely we are to want it brought up.”

Remus nodded again, and covered a yawn.

 _Idiot,_ James scolded himself at that. _Here you are, yattering away when he’s just woken up after dealing with his_ own _problem._ “Why don’t you get some more sleep?” he suggested aloud. “I should get to class, anyway, lunch will be over soon.”

“Yeah,” Remus covered another yawn, his jaw cracking. “I think I will.” He shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position.

James gathered the essay he’d been working on together with his books, checking to make sure he had everything he needed.

“Oh, and James?” Remus already sounded half asleep.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t let Sirius get kicked out of class again.”

James laughed. “I’ll try.”

– – – – –

James, Sirius, and Peter had planned on visiting Remus in the hospital wing during supper. However, when James was halfway through his mashed potatoes, he was distracted by the bright sound of feminine laughter from only a few seats away.

Lily Evans, James decided dreamily, was a vision. A vision of redheaded glory. A vision of –

“You’re drooling in your potatoes, Potter,” Sirius’s drawl interrupted James’s dazed thoughts.

Quickly, feeling his face heat up, the bespectacled boy loaded his fork and took another bite.

Sirius, plate already clean, scowled at him, fingers tapping the table impatiently.

James swallowed his mouthful. “Why don’t you go on without me?” he suggested.

Sirius arched a single black brow in question.

“I’ve got practice after dinner, and I’d rather not go on a half-empty stomach,” he told his friend, hoping he sounded causal – but not _too_ casual.

The grey-eyed boy’s expression made it clear he wasn’t buying. All he said was, “Hm,” but the quirk of his lips added, _You just want to stay and stare at Evans._

James tilted his head. _I’d be able to hear her, too, if you weren’t distracting me._

Sirius snorted.

“I’ll see him after practice,” James informed the other black-haired boy, hoping that was acceptable.

“Hm,” said Sirius again, but he turned to Peter – who had been watching the exchange with a nervous sort of fascination – and jerked his head towards the door. “Let’s go.” He stood.

“Erm…” Peter hesitated.

Sirius frowned.

“I-I think I’ll stay for seconds,” the light-haired boy stammered. “And maybe watch James practice?” he shot the hazel-eyed boy a hopeful look.

James blinked. _What?_ he thought. Then, _Oh, of course. If Remus is asleep, it’ll really just be Peter and Sirius, and Pete’s_ still _scared of Sirius._

By the look on Sirius’s face, he had come to the same conclusion.

“Neither of you need bother at all,” he bit out, grey eyes as icy as his voice. “I’m sure Re doesn’t want you lot crowding around his bed, anyway. It’s usually just me, after all.”

James opened his mouth to protest, but his friend had already turned on his heel and stalked away.

 _Not fair!_ thought James, and he scrambled to his feet, intent on catching the other boy, though whether to explain or to knock some sense into him he hadn’t yet decided. Maybe both.

“James,” Peter’s voice stopped him.

He turned to frown at the smaller boy. “What?”

“Practice,” Peter reminded him, gesturing.

James followed the waving hand to see the rest of the Gryffindor team leaving the table. “Bugger,” he muttered. “Peter, would you –” he broke off, thinking the better of it. “Nevermind. C’mon.” He sighed and followed his teammates, Peter trailing behind, picking at a last roll from the table.

– – – – –

By the time James reached the hospital wing after practice, Peter still in tow, the ward was dark. On closer inspection, it was revealed that the bed Remus had occupied all day was now empty.

“What do you think happened to him?” Peter asked in a hushed voice.

“Maybe he got eaten by a werewolf,” James suggested.

“But the full moon was last night!” the smaller boy protested.

James suppressed a sigh of irritation. “I was joking.”

“Oh. Right.” Peter laughed awkwardly. “I get it.”

They returned to the corridor.

“He’s probably either gone to the kitchens or he’s back in the Tower with Sirius.”

“I’ll check the kitchens,” Peter offered at once.

James rolled his eyes, but nodded in agreement. “Bring something for the rest of us to eat.”

“Sure thing,” Peter grinned, and trotted off.

James rolled his eyes again and headed for Gryffindor Tower.

– – – – –

The common room was still quite crowded when James climbed through the portrait hole. A quick scan told him neither Remus nor Sirius was present, but Lily Evans sat with a group of friends in one corner. He wavered for a moment, then shook his head and made for the stairs to the boys dormitories.

He opened the door quietly, in case Remus had returned and gone to sleep, and, seeing both Remus and Sirius’s bed curtains drawn, carefully shut the door without a sound. Deciding to get his things and do some work downstairs while he waited for Peter to return from the kitchens, he tiptoed across the room.

Halfway to his trunk, he heard the low sound of voices issuing from behind Remus’s curtains.

“… about you, Moonchild,” Sirius was saying.

“You don’t need to,” came Remus’s soft reply. “I’m very well taken care of in the hospital wing. And I have you, even if you do insist on calling me ‘Moonchild.’”

“You know you love it.”

“Siri.”

“Yes, Moonchild?”

“Don’t make me hurt you.”

“You couldn’t hurt a fly.”

James could almost _hear_ Remus’s glare in response.

“But it’s so pretty,” Sirius sounded as if he was wearing a pout.

“I am not a girl, Sirius, nor, I would like to remind you, are you.”

“So?”

“So you don’t need to give me pretty nicknames!”

“But I like it.”

“Siri…”

“How about ‘Moony’?”

There was a long-suffering sigh.

“I’m not going to win this one, am I?” It didn’t really sound like a question.

“No. Your heart’s not in it.”

There was an indignant sniff, then another sigh.

“Fine. Moony. But not when other people can hear you.”

“Deal.” There was more than a hint of smugness in Sirius’s voice.

The sounds of shifting and rustling blankets drifted out to James, who had moved closer without realising.

Then –

“G’night, Siri.”

James froze, barely daring to breathe. _Oh, shit. Sirius is going to come out and see me!_

“G’night, Moony.”

With no time to run, James could only stare in horror at the curtains, waiting for them to be pulled back and for Sirius to come out and catch him eavesdropping.

_Any second. Any second._

But the seconds stretched into minutes and Sirius didn’t appear.

 _Maybe he’s waiting for Remus to fall asleep,_ James thought. _That’s what he does when Rem’s still in the hospital wing._

It didn’t quite fit, but it was a reasonable explanation, so, for the moment, he let it go.

As quickly and quietly as he could, James crept to his trunk, got his books, and escaped the dorm, heading back to the common room, wondering – rather more intently than necessary – what sort of food Peter would bring back.

**TBC**

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Before I Sleep](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5649649) by [CitrusVanille](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CitrusVanille/pseuds/CitrusVanille)
  * [I Don't Know, It's A Mystery](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5649652) by [CitrusVanille](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CitrusVanille/pseuds/CitrusVanille)
  * [No Longer Rivals](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5649655) by [CitrusVanille](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CitrusVanille/pseuds/CitrusVanille)




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